When working with teenagers in trouble, I often ask them to make a list of the traits that make up an optimistic vs. a pessimistic person. As you know, mood dictates reputation, attitude altitude, opportunities realized, leadership discipline, and many, many more very cool life outcomes.


This teen was 14 and an Instigator-type introvert, or ITI, nicknamed an Inventor in the TALK2ME system. Inventors amplify their mood and the mood of others by 10. In an optimistic climate, that’s optimism times 10. In a pessimistic climate, it’s pessimism times 10. No middle ground or in-between. My job was to convince this teen to travel down Optimism Road. Which road are you traveling on today, by the way?


Do you walk the talk of optimism? Here’s the awesome list of an optimist our teen devised:
•    Thinks of others
•    Honest
•    Trustworthy
•    Honors self and others
•    Good reputation
•    Always there to help
•    Always 100%
•    Faithful
•    Has respect for others and for self
•    Helps charities
•    Always appears to be happy
•    Makes others happy
•    Never judges others
•    A good role model
•    Friendly
•    Takes responsibility for self
•    Never takes the easy way out
•    Acceptance of self and others
•    Someone to count on
•    Never disobeys authority
•    Intelligent
•    Helpful
•    Dependable


Are you going to zoom with a positive mood or create doom with a negative one? “I want these traits that my grandpa showed, to carry on through me,” said our teen. What a great honor. Now it’s your turn to decide what kind of leader you will become.

About Dr. Dennis O’Grady

Talk Doc Dennis O’Grady is the researcher and developer of the TALK2ME© communication system that has been tested and proven in private practice, corporate settings, and executive leadership applications.

Stop Obsessive Thoughts


How can you reject obsessive thoughts that are a big waste of time? Stop them? Re-direct them? Forget about them? For example, do you fret about how people think or feel about you…or ruminate over the fact that you have more month left than money? Reflect on this: Obsessive thoughts are how you treat yourself like a pile of crap. That’s why God loves us so.


It all works out in the end. Tough love self-talk in the Talk2Me© system involves disrupting repetitive obsessive thoughts with stern self-rebuke, such as…

  • Obsessive thoughts are a big waste of time
  • I can’t always be thought of as I would like to be
  • My health is in my own hands
  • I alone am the manager of my mood
  • I set the tone in my home
  • My mind is my own
  • The past is dead. Learn from it what you can, then forget about it.
  • Oh, well, let’s go….
  • Let’s move forward NOW
  • It’s not worth my time to stall my mind out on this
  • It doesn’t really matter
  • Play a little harder to master the mind…don’t back down…don’t give in
  • There’s nothing friendly about piling on and wearing yourself down or beating up on yourself
  • Fight through it without resigning until the very end


Instill in yourself a come-from-behind attitude…a weathering-the-storm attitude…an-if-it-doesn’t-kill-you-it-makes-you-stronger attitude…a no excuses, whining, crying, blaming, making-lame-arguments-that-make-you-feel-weak mentality. Be a positive mood-maker, a blame-game-ender…one brilliant shining star who owns your own mind and knows how to use it to its best advantage.

Dennis O’Grady, PsyD is a Dayton clinical psychologist, couples counselor, and family business Mood Management seminar trainer. Contact Dr. O’Grady at New Insights Communication 937-428-0724.

The Listening Bridge


You are at the center of the world when it comes to being a confident and competent communicator. So, how do you build a “listening bridge” to safely speed travel between yourself and your talk partner, as you move on down on the two-way communicator highway? Recent workshop participants provided these tips…

1. Respect is spelled LISTEN.

2. A little effort is often all it takes to maintain good relationship communication at home and at work.

3. Even though someone doesn’t respond to your idea, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. Don’t take the non-response to your idea personally.

4. Listen…ListenLISTEN. Don’t make a snap judgment or premature decision before you hear the entire thought.

5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T = LISTEN.

6. Confidence and competence matter equally in trusting communication.

7. Don’t let perceptions get in the way of getting things done!

8. Trust and respect flow from the hub of internal communication…down the spokes to others in the company…and out to your external customers.

9. Go to meetings with an open mind and give each person around the Communicator Table time to ask questions or to respond to the new idea. And if they don’t respond, don’t let it hurt your feelings or inhibit future presentations of your ideas. Don’t take it all to heart.

10. Be more understanding of both sides – Empathizer and Instigator – in order to forge an alliance and accommodate needs. Meet in the middle of the Communicator Table to co-develop strategies which will result in improved results that astonish everyone.

11. Treat everybody the way you would like to be treated!

You are at the center of the communication bridge, building rapport, trust, and connections to boost a bummer mood and nurture confidence. Old bridges start to crumble when maintenance isn’t performed on a regular basis. So, too, is the case with communication – you must inspect your interactions with family, friends, and co-workers on a routine basis, just to make certain that your communication is still as strong and dependable as it was on the day you began using the Talk2Me© system.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton family psychologist who teaches confidence-building mood management relationship communication tools. Phone: 937-428-0724.

Talk-Team Mood


What’s the mood tone of your team at work? Grumpy, frazzled, sad, apprehensive, glad? Teams who talk about moods consciously boost output. You, too, are a mood-maker or a mood-breaker. The choice is yours.


I worked with one team which acknowledged their individual and collective strengths. The following list illustrates how this loss-experienced team stood shoulder-to-shoulder to create the mood of their team. Talk-Team Mood demonstrated…

  • Multiple personality expertise
  • A “My door is half-open” vs. “My door is half-closed” attitude
  • Multi-cultural appreciators
  • Mentoring empowerment
  • Being an informational hub
  • That all people are unique Empathizer or Instigator communicators
  • Role modeling positive attitudes during defeat
  • Supporting others by allowing dumping of feelings without dumping on others
  • Spreading around a Mood of Trust
  • Humorous dedication…dedication to using humor to relieve stress
  • Getting a grip on differing viewpoints without driving a wedge
  • Problem-fixers and change-experts
  • Minding the Mood Store…don’t spread around a bad mood like manure
  • Being flexible dressers: Wear different hats during the day
  • Being accomplishers who get the “to do” list (DO)NE
  • How to make everyone on the team feel important
  • How to help anyone up who has been knocked down
  • Being great Calmers of Apprehensions
  • Following the Fairness Doctrine (Do as I do, not as I say you should do.)
  • Applying the Golden Rule
  • Being fearless: Don’t fear change…March off the map into the unknown
  • An atmosphere of encouragement to be A Bringer of Peace
  • Guts galore: “I’ll go to bat for you.”
  • Unifiers: “Let’s connect tunnels to the silos and not be so self-absorbed”
  • How to Listen Up: Take the pulse…Listen…Put your listening ears on…Be flexible…Collaborate for change
  • Going the extra mile with a smile on
  • Volunteerism: A good work ethic
  • Open-mindedness: “We’re just here to talk” attitude
  • Who’s #1: “We’re all 1-team!”
  • “Hands on” support for different types of people
  • Provide supportive…safe…sacred space
  • How to Navigate the Mood of The Organization
  • Being a good sport: “I’ll be back…” movie impersonations
  • Being People Lovers
  • Being cultural integrationists
  • “Less butt touches on chairs…” AKA don’t waste customer time
  • Customer Focus: “Make it easy…quick…painless…appreciated”
  • Ways to reduce friction and frustration wherever you go
  • How to relieve disheartenment by spreading around a Mood of Hope
  • Always using courtesy and respect, no matter what you’re getting back
  • Valor: “We live these values because this is who we truly are.…”
  • Simplification: Get back to what’s working when what you’re doing isn’t working
  • Being a strong Pillar of Honest and Effective Communication
  • Devotion
  • Putting salve on a pervasive sense of loss and grief

Do you use strength-focused Mood Talk to make the best lemonade out of bad times that ordinarily put you in a sour mood? I’ll bet you do, using Mood Management Tools.


Team Drive is impacted by intersecting organizational issues such as:

► staffing

► budgetary constraints

► integration of departments

► effective communication regarding change

► mood

You can choose your mood. Mood spelled backwards spells D-O-O-M…but only if you allow it to.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton psychologist, family business consultant and marriage counselor. Dr. O’Grady can be reached at (937) 428-0724.

Who Owns Your Mood?


Here’s a steady mood affirmation to remind you that you are more in charge of your mood than you might believe you are…


My mind is my own

I own my own mind

I close my mind to negative influences

I open my mind to positive influences

The gold mine of my mind, I mine for my success

Written by Dr. Dennis O’Grady who is a Dayton psychologist, couples counseling expert, and Life Coach in Effective Communication. New Insights Communication: (937) 428-0724