TAP THE BRAKES TO SLOW DOWN BAD TALK
Do you put the brakes on bad talk? “I probably said more than I should have!” is a clue that you need to clear the way ahead for good talk. Tap on those brakes when you’re moving too fast. Slow down and keep your eyes peeled for a traffic jam or pile-up ahead! Instead of going to extremes, such as reacting too passively or too aggressively, too pessimistically or too optimistically, seek the middle road or directive course of action. And, too, the right course of action may not feel real good.
DO YOU HAVE A HIGH COMMUNICATOR I.Q.?
Know your communicator type and you will go far! If you are emotional and sensitive, then you are an Empathizer or E-type communicator. If you use logic and reasoning to cope with life, then you are an Instigator or I-type communicator. If your feelings are easily hurt, and you have trouble getting beyond the past, then you are probably an E-type. If you get mad, tell it like it is, and then get over it but are caught off guard when others are still stinging from your words, then of course you are an Instigator communicator. It matters not whether you are a boy or girl, straight or gay, young or elder, generation X or generation Y, rich or poor, black or white, American or European. What does matter is your communicator type.
THE JUNK IN THE TRUNK
Emotions aren’t a breeze for either Empathizer (E-type) or Instigator (I-type) communicators, who are an even split between men and women. In fact, when all emotionally riled up with no place to go, E-types will act out and do something stupid. On the other hand, I-types will talk out and say something stupid. Either way, buckle up because a talk crash is looming ahead. Tragically, in fact, our respective blue (E-type) and burnt orange (I-type) talk cars speed up when we should tap on our brakes to slow down. Then, on we speed dangerously fast down a foggy road of messed-up communication gaps. So, how do you slow down when your emotions have you moving way too fast?
TAP THE BRAKES TO SLOW DOWN ON BAD TALK
Vulnerable emotions mess up mindful communications. What to do when your emotions are running hot, but you seek to speak assertively and confidently without coming across as an arrogant idiot? Do you follow good communication rules even when you don’t want to because lashing out or running away would feel better?
DO TALK:
* Do tap on your brakes when your emotions are running hot.
* Do release yourself from the prison of perfectionism.
* Do listen more than you pontificate or lecture.
* Do hear negative feedback that resolves pesky problems which haunt you.
* Do escort the elephant in the room outside your front door.
* Do respond authentically to others instead of using “knee-jerk-me-jerk” reactions.
* Do pull out the tree from your own eye before you point out the toothpick in the other guy’s eye.
* Do nurture yourself and reach out to others to “depressurize” when you’re stressed out.
* Do use your character values (honesty, integrity, respect) as your compass when speeding along, lost in a fog of emotion.
* Do take the cotton out of your ears, especially if you are prone to trying too hard to be right, just to save face.
* Do make every effort to change and grow on a daily basis.
* Do have the first action, instead of having the last word.
* Do be a validator, instead of a villain.
* Do remember that God gave us one mouth and two ears for a very good reason!
* Do follow good communication driving rules, especially when you don’t want to.
* Do slow down when your emotions are hot.
A SINGLE COMMUNICATION FAILURE DOESN’T MAKE YOU A COMPLETE FAILURE FOR ALL TIME
I strive daily to improve my communication skills, which at times seem woefully lacking, due to a trunk load of emotions. Thus, as the “Talk Doctor” (T.D.) I don’t suffer from a superiority complex but from an inferiority complex! What do you stand for? When you fail to communicate, is it always the other guy’s or gal’s fault? The (b)lame game is lame!
GUTSY COMMUNICATION
Do you feel that many problems can be fixed by communicating clearly while following the rules on the two-way Communication Highway? Gutsy communication solves problems and values relationships and loves people.
The Talk to Me© system is the communication map to solve many confusing relationship communication riddles…when you use it!
WHO IS RELATIONSHIP COACH AND CORPORATE COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.
Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D. delivers couples communication skills, executive coaching, and corporate training which solves pesky problems by producing positive results. Dennis is the original researcher and developer of the powerful Talk to Me© positive and effective communication system. The Talk Doctor’s compete textbook of good talk is Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along with Anyone, which is available by calling (937) 428-0724 or at www.drogrady.com and Amazon.