Now here’s one of the single most negative thoughts I know human beings everywhere struggle with: “IT keeps going over and over in my head.” While you might believe that nothing you can say or do will work to change IT from happening to you, think again.
In the windmills of your mind, “IT” plays out like this:
1. IT keeps happening to me over and over again.
2. IT made me so angry.
3. IT won’t ever change.
4. IT wastes my time.
5. IT made me feel bad.
6. IT won’t work.
7. IT’s back in my lap.
8. IT’s so upsetting.
9. IT’s hard to.
10. IT’s not always fun to be me.
Well, you get the idea. It’s time to change your “IT” language to “I” language to create positive changes, control what you can control, and let go of what you can’t control. To change your mind about your change chances, you need to substitute “I” thinking for “IT” thinking.
You can interrupt negative thoughts that lead to negative actions and negative talks and fill your mind with negative psychic filler. Ready for a language overhaul that can lead you to try new stress reduction options? Here are the same statements using positive talk tools to disrupt the negative:
1. I don’t have to keep doing the same negative thing over and over again because I CAN AND WILL DO THE NEW!
2. I don’t have to make myself more angry or upset because I CAN CHANGE MY MOOD!
3. I don’t have to resist change because I CAN CHANGE IF I WANT TO APPLY MYSELF WITH OTHERS HELP!
4. I don’t have to waste my time because I CAN AND WILL TALK TO MYSELF MORE POSITIVELY.
5. I don’t have to make myself feel worse about feeling bad because I CAN FEEL MAD AND NOT MAKE MATTERS ANY WORSE!
6. I don’t have to complain about what won’t work because I CAN TAKE NEW STEPS TOWARD MY POSITIVE CHANGE GOALS TODAY!
7. I don’t have to feel bad about how others won’t change or act irresponsibly because I HAVE OPTIONS TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF IN POSITIVE WAYS TODAY THAT I WILL USE!
8. I don’t have to stay upset by upsetting situations or people because I HAVE THE RIGHT TO UPSET MYSELF OR CALM MYSELF DOWN WHEN I’M FEELING BAD!
9. I don’t have to be close-minded and say something won’t work that I haven’t really tried because I AM OPEN-MINDED AND OPEN TO CHANGING MY MIND!
10. I don’t have to be miserable being me and focusing on what I don’t have because I CAN FOCUS ON WHAT I DO HAVE INSTEAD OF WHAT I DON’T HAVE TO ENCOURAGE HAPPINESS!
How are you minding your own mind today? Here’s a poster I want you to print out as an encourager to change the “IT made me do it” thinking to “I talk and act positively for ME” thinking.
“I DID IT TO ME!”
How are you minding your own mind? Are you feeding it lots of positive thoughts or bingeing on negative thinking? You can put a limit to suffering the negative thoughts you dwell in. I think we need to substitute “I” for “IT” right now. It’s (I am) a powerful inner talk tool to calm yourself down when you’re upset and prone to upsetting yourself and others more and more and…
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, and the author of TALK TO ME: Communication moves to get along with anyone