Are You A Positive Communicator?

What exactly is a positive communicator?

A positive communicator feels positively-thinks positively-acts positively-talks positively. Positive communication results from the hope of feeling emotionally connected and the excitement of enjoying a fulfilling relationship.

Following are the typical characteristics of positive communicators. Unlike negative communicators, positive communicators are like the welcome mats that wipe away the mud of the day from your shoes.

POSITIVE COMMUNICATORS WELCOME OPEN DIALOGUE

In short, a positive communicator:

1. Knows and practices empathy
A positive communicator seeks first to see a tough situation through the eyes of the speaker in order to de-escalate negative emotions and game playing.

2. Acts as a good listening post
A positive communicator asks a multitude of open-ended questions and shows active interest in the process.

3. Improves him/herself
A positive communicator pursues personal growth and develops awareness by hiring psychological, health, interpersonal communications and spirituality consultants.

4. Engages in dialogue
A positive communicator believes in back-and-forth communication and seeks anyone’s opinions, no matter how big or small the role they play in any communication situation.

5. Knows that knowledge is power
A positive communicator makes time to read good books, listens to self-improvement tapes and gets a grip on important new concepts that keep the mind on the right track. A positive communicator is always willing to learn more to better one’s self.

6. Is compassionate
A positive communicator knows that good talks are possible when other speakers are treated with compassion and respect in a way that gives them a sense of worth.

7. Focuses on goals
A positive communicator is motivated primarily by an intensive desire to understand other speakers without distractions or interference. Likewise, a goal-focused communicator understands that if frustration and roadblocks occur, more empathy and common sense is required.

8. Is gut-reassuring
A positive communicator understands that all people talk with their heads and their guts. But most importantly, a positive communicator understands that balancing head talk with heart talk can be a reassuring force when wild emotions break out of the corral that surrounds the heart-mind.

9. Pursues sane drama
A positive communicator reveals the self instead of concealing or hiding the self. Instead of stirring the pot and making things worse, the positive communicator adds to the pot to make the soup better.

10. Works hard at communication
A positive communicator puts in the hard work necessary to build a healthy relationship. The result is gratitude and personal enrichment for everyone involved in the relationship.

11. Adopts a pattern of healing
A positive communicator doesn’t pursue long, drawn-out communication patterns that hurt others, divide others or drives wedges between positive people.

12. Employs a “Can we talk?” attitude
A positive communicator apologizes readily for his or her role in mistaken identity, miscommunications or lame blame games. Excuses and rationalizations (“change-excuses” or “psycho-excuses,” I call them) are not allowed, ever.

POSITIVE TALKING IS A TWO-WAY COMMUNICATION HIGHWAY

“Positive talking” is a two-way communication highway that does not come easy, but it is very easy to learn. I believe effective positive communication should not be a fluke. Make positive talks a routine part of your work and family relationships today.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a communications psychologist, executive coach and leadership development and relationship improvement consultant from Dayton, Ohio, and the author of TALK TO ME: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone.

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