Do you ever play a scratchy “worry record” that drones on and on — one that drives you bonkers? Who doesn’t? Obsessive negative thoughts are like a batch of bloodthirsty horse flies that dive bomb at your head…they are pesky, pestering and do a good job of disrupting your peace of mind. Can’t you do something about mood-deadening songs of worry that go ’round and ’round in your head? Yes, you CAN.
Why Worry? Nothing Bad’s Going To Happen Anyway
Hope is here if you are an intelligent person who, once in a while, gets dumb thoughts or old negative songs stuck in your head, songs that are of no use to you. Relax…why worry…nothing bad’s going to happen anyway!
Let’s find out if you can stop putting your happiness in a looping vise. Let’s say your mind is having difficulty setting aside a negative thought. First, know that you can change the channel…change the record…change the subject of your inner thought-talk. In fact, this is a great time to use CommTool#4: “Change…the damn record!”
Here we go…you are curling up in a ball and withdrawing in to your head by saying:
This is dumb! I can’t get these worries out of my head. As soon as I deal with one worry…another one is born. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I find stuff to worry about. BUT WHAT IF I can’t handle what might happen tomorrow? What then? What will I do…what will happen? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do the right thing? Why do I always feel like I’m doing something wrong? I can’t let go of these worries. I can’t get to sleep, now. I’m spinning my wheels. I’ve hit a wall. I’m stuck right now. I know what I should do, but I can’t do it. I can’t get it out of my head and just relax. Is what I’m doing really working? IT just pops into my head because I’m the perfect worrier. This is SO dumb!
YOUR INNER-TALK COMEBACK: “Here I go again upsetting and worrying myself because I have such a BIG MIND…no sweat…I’ll just change the damn subject!”
Give Up Your Worries
In over 100 blog entries and 172,000 words…I’ve used the word “damn” only twice…and for good reason. You have to be forceful with your inner criticizing and the kind of worrying that snowballs and avalanches your mood.
Be forceful with yourself when your thinking puts you on the defensive and isn’t working, and when your thoughts work against you and your self-esteem! Don’t “worry yourself to death” and put your happiness in a coffin while worry music you hate is still playing.
Talk Back to Yourself
So be the “communication comeback kid” when your mind can’t get something stuck in IT out that is going ’round and ’round to a place called Nowhere. Try this talk tool one more time:
When YOU hear yourself thinking/saying: “I’ve got something here to REALLY worry about! WHAT IF…”
Talk back positively to yourself by responding: “Change…the damn record!”
Zounds, Zonkers! Feel the difference?!
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a communications coach from Dayton, Ohio, and the author of “Taking the Fear out of Changing” and TALK TO ME at www.drogrady.com