Keys To Ignite Good Communication

People talk. Everyone agrees talking is the key that turns over the ignition of your communicator car. Once your engine is running and you pull out the map, you set out on a life destination with your partner. But “people talks,” like cars, can break down now and then, making relationship repairs expensive or impossible. They can cause everyone the frustration of being stranded all alone on the highway of life.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE DRIVING SANELY AND SAFELY ON THE TWO-WAY COMMUNICATION HIGHWAY?

Are you an open and responsive communicator or a closed and reactionary communicator? Here’s how to tell:

1. YOU TAKE TIME TO WASH AND WAX YOUR CAR. You try to keep your communicator car clean, because you know dirty communication spews tar and gunk on everyone.

2. YOU HAVE A VALID DRIVER’S LICENSE. You don’t leave home without first checking that you have your valid driver’s license as a trained “positive and effective” communicator. You also don’t drive under the influence of excessive negative emotions.

3. YOU HAVE A MAP IN YOUR LAP. Without knowing where you’re going, how will you ever get there? Maps make sure you don’t drive in circles until you run out of gas, and that you don’t need to hitch a ride to the next petrol depot.

4. YOU STICK TO THE SPEED LIMIT. Accidents happen when you don’t drive with the flow of traffic, or go too fast or too slow, instead of playing by the rules of the “suggested” speed limit.

5. YOU DON’T GIVE NON-VERBAL SIGNALS TO YOUR FELLOW TRAVELERS. Giving the single finger non-verbal gesture of disapproval says: “Although my Interpersonal I.Q. is 1, because I’m never-ever in the wrong, if things don’t go my way right now you can just get off My Highway!”

6. YOU STOP AND ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. You’re not too proud to ask for help when you’re lost, so you don’t tie up anyone’s life with insecurity or use words that sound off but don’t amount to squat.

7. YOU ARE TRAVELING ON YOUR TIME. You don’t rush around like a chicken with your head cut off, and you plan time to relax along the way at rest stops to boost your energy.

8. YOU USE CRUISE CONTROL BUT EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. Although you use cruise control to relax and enjoy the drive, you keep your eyes and ears wide open; you turn down the temptation to tell someone why your thinking is right and their thinking is wrong.

9. YOU DON’T READ EVERY ADVERTISING SIGN. Why read stupid signs filled with mindless slogans? Instead, you vow to talk positively to yourself when you feel blue and build your confidence by taking new life routes to prove you are change-able.

10. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MOOD IN YOUR COMMUNICATOR CAR. It’s up to you to set the tone, tempo and mood in the car since you’re the one in charge. You don’t pontificate or lecture and you don’t flip out when you accidentally miss a turn on Talk Road.

11. YOU AREN’T A MIRROR GAWKER. “Mirror gawking” is staring into the mirror to see how beautiful thou art, picking your nose or applying make up, because it makes the trip all about you and the drowning greed of narcissism.

12. YOU DON’T YELL AT BACKSEAT DRIVERS. Backseat driving or arguing are headaches waiting to happen, and loud discussions of differences distract you from keeping your eyes on the road and focusing. To improve your life is the only right thing to do or be, right?

13. YOU DON’T GET BENT OUT OF SHAPE BY FENDER-BENDERS. Talk accidents do happen. Some are avoidable, some are not. When a talk accident happens, do you blame, get angry, withdraw, attack, feel all crazy or act like a smiley-wiley, goodey two-shoes? None of these “fear-driven” strategies ever changes the basic fact that your fender is bent and needs fixing.

Whenever you miscommunicate, or miss the communication mark, how you communicate during those tense times becomes all the more important. Are you keeping your communication tight?

THE INSURANCE POLICY OF GOOD COMMUNICATION

Are you in the driver’s seat of your own life? Are you keeping your eyes on the road, and your eyes on the relationship prize of positive talk? Don’t leave home without the insurance policy of good communication.

ABOUT INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION EXPERT DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, who specializes in teaching positive and effective communication skills. You wish to utilize easy vs. sleazy communication that is both ethical and effective. Dr. O’Grady’s third book, which includes his “Talk to Me” effective leadership communication system, is at www.drogrady.com and Amazon. Life is a highway? Are you traveling to where you need and want to go in a spirit of hopeful anticipation, or are you cursing under your breath at the other driver’s stupidity? The choice is yours. Know this: Whenever you travel with an open heart and flowing mind on the two-way communication highway, change happens fast and lasts.

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