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Are You Ready To Change?

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Serious about change? Give up your security blanket and reach those cherished New Year’s goals.

If you’re really ready to change, you’ll answer yes to the following questions. If you find yourself answering, “Yes, but…,” you’re still bucking, resisting and fearing change and probably at a standstill. Work toward changing your negative beliefs into positive action.

1. I deserve to have what I desire most in life right now.

2. I’ll put in any work necessary to make my dreams come true.

3. I’ll adopt good habits to promote my future happiness and present satisfaction.

4. I’ll let go of any relationship, no matter how comfortable it might be, if it isn’t good for me.

5. I’ll go into the unknown and acquire new skills, or seek out a different job, if it means I’ll feel less stressed and be more relaxed.

6. I’ll tackle my fears of being too selfish, too negative or too stuck in a communication rut to reach my heartfelt goals.

7. I’m willing to become more realistic about money, and to live within my financial means to achieve peace of mind.

8. As a sexual being, I’m eager to create an exciting sex life that is ultimately gratifying to my partner and me.

9. As a spiritual being, I’ll freely let go of bulky resentment baggage — against parents, lovers and friends — to experience relationship healing and grace.

10. I’m willing to build a closer relationship with God, one that makes me feel increasingly confident to love and be loved.

WATCH THOSE EXCUSES FALL TO THE WAYSIDE

My favorite change alibi is “BUT I’ve done IT for so long, I doubt I can do anything to change it now!” And true, I usually need the help of outside experts or coaches to encourage me to “keep on changing” when I impatiently get down on myself. We are all programmed to feel fear, skepticism and doubt when we try on new behaviors for size. So, what’s your point?

ABOUT DAYTON, OHIO, EXECUTIVE COACH, MARRIAGE PSYCHOLOGIST AND PROFESSIONAL KEYNOTE SPEAKER ON EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS AND CHANGE MANAGEMENT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is a Dayton-based professional speaker, business consultant and relationship coach. O’Grady is the author of “Taking the Fear out of Changing” … “No Hard Feelings” … and “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” You can read his article on “Change Maxims for 2006” here. O’Grady’s New Year’s resolution: “Have a New Year instead of repeating the same old one!” Dr. O’Grady also believes that when you’re driving down the road less traveled and your wheels are knocked off your blue Empathizer or burnt orange Instigator communicator car — you can still get going again with a little help from your professional friends.

8 Comments »

  1. Tell me about changes you’ve successfully made in your life.

    1. What changes are the hardest for you to make?
    2. What usually sets you off to begin changing?
    3. How do you keep going when you want to give up?
    4. What changes have proved to be very profound and productive for you?

    Comment by Dr. Dennis O'Grady — December 29, 2006 @ 9:17 am

  2. My husband and I can communicate now and talk things out. Your new talk system helped us change, and fix what wasn’t working.

    Comment by Ann — December 29, 2006 @ 2:03 pm

  3. I’ve found my confidence is boosted when I elect to change instead of stay stuck in the muck feeling like a victim who has no alternatives.

    Comment by Sonja — December 29, 2006 @ 2:04 pm

  4. I agree with you that my self-criticizing keeps me chained down feeling like I can’t change. Then I shut down and give in. Then I blame myself that it’s my fault for not changing. It’s a Catch-22.

    Comment by Lori — December 29, 2006 @ 2:06 pm

  5. #8 is the hardest one for me. I was raised to feel guilty about such things, even though I like them.

    Comment by Adam — December 29, 2006 @ 2:07 pm

  6. Dr. O’Grady:

    How to depression and communicating go together? Almost everything boils down to relationships and communication, in my opinion.

    Thanks…Debra

    Comment by Debra — December 29, 2006 @ 2:10 pm

  7. #9 is really hard for me to deal with since I really didn’t have any closure with my parents, nor do I plan to try anymore since both my parents are both bitter. To them it’s their way or no way and if you go against their rules. You’re out of the family! It’s useless at this point, nor do I want to waste my energy on their childishness any longer. I found a NEW family that I’m proud to call my own and I’m starting to feel what true happiness is all about. Yes, we still argue here and there, but at least we continue to try and communicate with each other regardless of the topic instead of running away.

    “For Better Or For Worst!”

    I’m Happy!

    Comment by SRK — January 3, 2007 @ 11:56 am

  8. Hi SRK,

    How are you? I’ve posted your comments. You are courageously dealing with a reality that many people face but fail to talk about openly in our society…an unloving parent or unloving mother or father. You can’t wring water out of a stone, as you know. If a parent can’t love…all the efforts to accommodate and placate the parent will drain your life energy. Likewise, running after a parent who can’t love…causes us to slight the very people who DO like and love us which is a tragedy.

    Negative parents and grandparents are spirit-killers…they kill life and liveliness with lies, sweet manipulations and distortions. I am proud that you are keeping your attention focused on those who are able to love you … accept those who are incapable of love. As an E-type intuitive (ETI) or INTUITER, IF you don’t have the “experience” of being loved than you likely aren’t being loved. Oh well, their loss.

    You’ll know how far you’ve come in using the “Talk to Me” system when you “easily” understand the “simple” use of the “Let’s Talk” attachment. THANKS for continuing to talk to me….

    Dennis

    Comment by Dr. Dennis O'Grady — January 3, 2007 @ 1:14 pm

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