Communication Turn-Ons

by with One Comment EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATION TURN-ONS

Drivers on the two-way communication highway avoid turning off good talk. Common barriers to effective communication which seminar members say you must steer around:

COMMUNICATION TURNOFFS

  • Emotions, emotional displays, drama
  • Too much talk without saying anything
  • Beating around the bush instead of getting to the point
  • Inaccurate information – too many feelings not enough facts
  • Bad outlook
  • Bad mood
  • Shooting the messenger
  • Saying one thing and doing another
  • Putting value on project, not people
  • Mistrust
  • Discourage telling truth

COMMUNICATION TURN-ONS

You want to create talk that is priceless? You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Try these talk shoes on for size:

  • Be rational
  • Ask directive questions
  • Listen with three ears
  • Ask for more facts and fewer feelings
  • Use a good outlook on life
  • Spread a good mood around when times are tough
  • Implement what the messenger advises
  • Do the new and record the results to logically find out what works
  • Put value equally on getting things done and on the people who get the things done
  • Build bridges of trust by being reliable
  • Encourage telling the truth…which sets you free

SOLVING PROBLEMS AND SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES

It’s all about communication. Everyone says so…everyone knows so. Every organization and family flies or flunks based on their effective use of communication skills and tools. The TALK2ME© system can show you the map around communication turnoffs and the way to get on down the road of solving problems and seizing opportunities.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the developer of the TALK2ME© system, which is central to business innovation and couple communication through using positive and effective communication tools.

Empathizers Roll

by with No Comment TYPE TALK

Let’s be thoughtful of the feelings of others and think through relationship impacts before uttering a sharp word that cuts deep into psychic skin. While Empathizer communicators won’t steam roll over another, E-types do put the “roll” in “rock and roll” while driving serenely down the two-way communicator highway.

WHAT DO YOU ADMIRE ABOUT YOUR EMPATHIZER PALS, PARTNERS, AND CO-WORKERS?

Here’s what “let’s get busy making good communication come alive” leaders admire about Empathizer leaders who put the “roll” in “rock and roll”…

1. Empathizers set a positive tone of acceptance and nurturing. They make good mothers, fathers, coaches, and life mentors.

2. Empathizers are very thoughtful, going out of their way to send a positive e-mail message or pick out a special greeting card.

3. Empathizers are more open-minded. They see more sides to an issue without defensively taking sides.

4. Empathizers make good sounding boards.

5. Empathizers remember stuff better, especially those emotionally meaningful events.

6. Empathizers don’t hurry to produce results, thereby avoiding making costly mistakes.

7. Empathizers skillfully diffuse hostile situations, mindful of the importance of relationships.

8. Empathizers coach Instigators on when and how to show emotions.

9.  Empathizers are compassionate. They care more for others’ feelings.

10. Empathizers are great leaders. They have a high Emotional I.Q.

11. Empathizers provide the balance of acknowledging others while accomplishing tasks.

12. Empathizers help you cope when you’re down by having a good sense of humor. They paint a picture of a hopeful future.

INSTIGATORS ROCK…EMPATHIZERS ROLL

You can’t rock-and-roll if you’re minus one communicator type, any more than you can clap hands using only one hand. Empathizers are the left hand, while Instigators are the right hand. Together they rock and roll by solving problems together. Without fail, I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times in my workshops and relationship coaching.

THERE ARE PROBLEMS…AND THERE IS PROBLEM-SOLVING COMMUNICATION

CARS serve as the metaphor in the TALKME© system. Ignoring Empathizer strengths is similar to going without heating and air conditioning in your automobile. E-types are your emotional temperature gauges. Can you get through a winter without their strengths?

Discounting Instigator strengths is similar to traveling without a map or GPS device. I-types are our expert map readers, who will get you there on time. Can you get through a summer vacation without using their strengths?

Move through the seasons skillfully by adopting the opposite strengths of both Empathizer and Instigator communicators. That way, you will have two hands on the steering wheel and applaud your new results while traveling down Success Avenue.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a family business psychologist, corporate trainer and marriage counselor. (937) 428-0724.

Instigators Rock

by with No Comment TYPE TALK

Let’s get right to the point. Instigator communicators pull the trigger and don’t worry about hurting the feelings of others. Isn’t that so useful to the progress of us all sometimes? Here’s what a “let’s get busy communicating teaming and living” leaders admired about Instigators…

1. Instigators get to the point.

2. Instigators balance logic with sensitivity.

3. Instigators can remove themselves from a tough issue.

4. Instigators lead with reason more than with emotion.

5. Instigators keep on track and don’t land in a ditch.

6. Instigators get fast results.

7. Instigators don’t shy away from conflict.

8. Instigators take charge.

9. Instigators don’t worry as much and move through changes quickly.

10. Instigators are great, natural born leaders.

11. Instigators are taskmasters.

12. Instigators don’t dwell on the past. They move on using short-term memory that benefits us all over the long haul.

USING THE TALK2ME© SYSTEM

Empathizer communicators make decisions more slowly and cautiously than their Instigator pals. Nonetheless, you, too, can adopt the balanced strengths of Instigator-type communicators who look after the team, even when it might take hurting an individual’s feelings.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a corporate trainer and couples counselor. (937) 428-0724

It’s My Opinion

by with No Comment LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

How do you successfully work through a problem issue as a team or family? It isn’t an easy task, to be sure. For example, how are you able to reliably determine what solution will or won’t work in real life? Pet opinions aren’t necessarily a collection of facts, facts that are the keys to solving problems.

SEER LEADERS

SEERS are Empathizer leaders in the TALK2ME© system who “see” invaluable solutions as easily as “seeing” the nose on your face.

For example, SEERS don’t come to a conclusion and then build a case to support their pet project. SEERS seethe when common sense isn’t used to create change. Care to know if your “solution opinion” will fly in the real world? Ask a SEER who has uncommon, common sense.

DO YOU BROWBEAT PEOPLE TO DEMOLISH THEIR POSITIONS?

Do you “SEE” the solution(s) to a problem, or are you awash in opinionated opinions? An opinion is based on your understanding of the information you have at hand. SEERS easily distinguish strong opinions from straight facts….

1.  CAN’T YOU SEE THE INCONSISTENCY HERE? SEERS are easily able to point out the inconsistency in something. It stands out like a sore thumb.

2. DON’T YOU SEE THE ISSUE? SEERS’ minds flash on illuminating solutions to problem issues.

3. DO YOU SEE THIS SIDE OF IT? SEERS can visualize the partial view and the whole view while envisioning that special part which is the missing piece to the jigsaw puzzle.

4. WHAT’S THE LOGIC HERE? SEERS connect the dots to find out if what’s being proposed is too complicated to work in real life.

5. ARE YOU SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEANING WHAT YOU SAY, WITHOUT BEING MEAN? SEERS take emotional words at face value, so they aren’t fooled by fear-driven untruths spoken by brutes.

6. DIDN’T ANYBODY SEE THIS COMING DOWN THE PIKE? SEERS aren’t caught up in a swirling inner world and are thus able to “see” what’s coming down the road right before their very eyes.

7. ISN’T THE SOLUTION AS OBVIOUS AS THE NOSE ON YOUR FACE? SEERS have very long noses and “get” that if your group won’t look into a factual mirror with the purpose of finding the truth, you won’t…even if it’s as plain as the nose on your face.

Instigator leaders have strong opinions and are able to make those opinions acceptable to others and then enacted upon to complete the task.

DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?

Here’s your test to tell if you’re a SEER. Analyze this message: “All dogs must be kept on a leash in the park.” SEER quip: “That’s going to be a pretty damned crowded park.” Get it? “All dogs in the world must report to the park.” Funny. SEERS would prefer: “To protect other people in the park, while dogs are in the park with their owners, they must be kept on a leash.” SEERS see what is not obvious to the rest of us.

Another SEER told his mom: “Mom, you are a crustacean.” “Son, why do you say that?” “Because you’re acting awfully crabby with me!” Makes you think….

OPINION OR OPINIONATED?

Who’s right and who’s wrong? The better debater can rule the roost. Yet, an opinion is “the view somebody takes about a certain issue, especially when it is based solely on personal judgment.” Plus, an “opinionated” person is always ready to express opinions and, tending to hold to them stubbornly, unreasonably dismisses other people’s views.” Opinions aren’t necessarily facts, even when spoken by an expert authority.

If something doesn’t make sense to you, seek the counsel of a SEER, who understands that common sense involving facts solves problems, but that process isn’t commonly exercised in the home space or workplace.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides corporate communication training and marriage counseling seminars. Call (937) 428-0724.

Remove Emotions From Equations?

by with No Comment TYPE TALK

Do you remove emotions from equations? If you do, you were born to win as an Instigator-type communicator. If you don’t, you were born to win as an Empathizer-type communicator. I-Win…You Win…We Win…is the best approach to solving vexing problems with TALK2ME© technology.

TALK TOO MUCH WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING?

What are common stereotype talk barriers that can be removed from the communication equation?

Here are the limiting beliefs that Instigator-type (I-type) communicators live out in ignorance about their Empathizer pals….

1. Empathizers think with hearts, not heads.

2. Empathizers’ feelings are hurt too easily.

3.  Empathizers stall out instead of making decisions all on their own.

4. Empathizers don’t multi-task. They slow things down when urgency calls.

5. Empathizers keep bringing up the past. This limits present problems being solved.

6. Empathizers are so afraid of making mistakes that they fail to take action when action is needed.

7.  Empathizers worry too much. They worry about being blamed for making tough decisions.

8. Empathizers don’t let logic rule. They’re not rational when emotions run hot.

9. Empathizers are too dramatic. They predict doom and gloom when fear is on the offensive.

10. Empathizers erroneously base decisions on how relationships are impacted.

11. Empathizers are too interested in petty things, such as personal relationships.

12. Empathizers talk too much without saying anything.

13. Empathizers use body language expressively to communicate mood, instead of using words.

14. Empathizers are never wrong when it comes to solutions to fix problems.

15. Empathizers are not business oriented.

16. Empathizers are afraid of what others think, and they doggedly seek approval.

17. Empathizers’ feelings are hurt too easily

18. Empathizers blame others who don’t have a high Emotional I.Q.

19. Empathizers do not take responsibility for fictions of imagined reality.

20. Empathizers are flustered too easily; can’t handle pressure.

In short, Instigator communicator, wisely advise all Empathizer communicators to remove unnecessary emotions from the Relationship Life and Work Life Equation.

Enough said, already?

GOT A CHANGE ATTITUDE?

TALK2ME© is an enlightening communication system that begs to be used, because it works! Experience the ‘light bulb comes on’ results for yourself. Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a corporate trainer who also provides marriage counseling and relationship communication training.  Call (937) 428-0724.