Posts in category: EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Have you ever felt like you were stuck on a big speed bump of life, and worried that you were going to stay there, past forever? Many leaders feel that way when strong wills and big ideas clash around the communicator table at work. Too many titans trying to drive the communicator car at the same time can create frustration and a stagnation of creative problem-solving.

MY MANAGER OR BOSS IS A GOOD COMMUNICATOR WHO LISTENS WITH INTEREST TO ME?

Are you a narrow-minded but long-winded communicator who doesn’t listen with interest? Nope. You are becoming a better communicator as we speak. Good managers and leaders who communicate effectively have fired-up employees who check off this important company-wide feedback box: “My manager is a good communicator who listens to me with interest.”

RESULTS-DRIVEN DECISIONS THAT WORK

I design personalized, process- and content-centered results-driven management communication training programs for companies who take their communication seriously. Why is communication everything? Clear communication delivers results, while “foggy” communication produces negative or no results. Like, duh.

LET’S TALK COMMUNICATION LEADERS

Here’s what reliably takes place in your team when you use the “Talk to Me” communication system:

1. “We Team” vs. “Me Team” synergy. The TALK2ME system combines the energies of all parties to ignite the heart and soul of the entrepreneurial spirit, the same spirit that is driven to succeed by driving over the speed bumps of life.

2. Happy employees. Don’t laugh. You want to inspire your employees to feel important and keep them happily and productively working for your company. The TALK2ME communication system boosts employee morale.

3. Communication laziness. Public and corporate enemy No. 1 is cynicism, going along to get along, pessimism about people and change, close-mindedly continuing to do what doesn’t work, half-honesty, telling leaders only what they want to hear, saluting a false sense of security, refusing to use measured results to adjust in-flight courses of action. In short, communication laziness.

4. Clear communication gets you off the speed bump you’re stuck on. The “unique communicator mix” of your management or employee team is discovered and capitalized upon by using the New Insights Communication Inventory–Leadership Survey or NICI-LS. That way you can tell who you’re talking to by type AND include everyone’s best ideas, even those who may feel too shy to speak up.

5. Pulling an elephant out of the hat. The two leadership communication styles of Empathizer- (E-type) and Instigator-type (I-type) communicators, use different driving lanes and rules to talk and live by. For example, I-types assertively speak out at meetings, while E-types more often only speak when spoken to. So companies are only benefiting from half-a-brain, which is akin to ignoring the elephant in the room, or trying to pull it out of a hat.

6. The “communicator table” produces the best results you seek. When both E- and I-type communicators are seated around the invisible “communicator table” (or riding in the communicator car) and talking openly and equally, spontaneously produces positive synergestic (1+1=3) strategic decisions whose results will benefit everyone.

7. Ability to implement “keep it simple” marketing “experiments” that get results. We all have experienced frustration when a “good plan” is “half-done then dropped.” The ability to measure results against idea plans, and talk honestly and openly about the results, makes us all walk our talk.

8. The biggest complaint I run into when I consult with companies is this one: “Managers are perceived as NOT being very good communicators.” By being trained in, and using, the “Talk to Me” communication system your managers will be evaluated as “better communicators.”

9. The second biggest complaint is that leader managers who are poor communicators don’t “listen with interest.” In other words, poor communicators just listen long enough to jump into the conversation to monologue about their preferred position of action. Not good!

10. Why bother with open lines of communication that are results-focused? Well, your best employees will stick around, new “A” players will chomp at the bit to join your team, company morale will soar, personal energy will sizzle, difficult people will drop out, and better ideas and thus better solutions will be generated and more likely to be strategically implemented. Using the TTM system, creative solutions are brainstormed that take your breath away in simplicity and effectiveness.

11. We all love change, now don’t we? The TALK2ME system beckons all of the workforce family to let go of doing what isn’t working but is the favorite idea child, and grab hold of what quietly does work to get where you want to go. Namely, the land of huge payoffs that benefit everyone.

REALIZING EXISTING POTENTIALS

The biggest threat to your company is the strangulation hold of mediocre to poor communication. Getting too comfortable with your communication style, will make you nap like the Hare in the parable the Tortoise and the Hare and lose the race.

USING THE TALK TO ME (TTM) COMMUNICATION SYSTEM

I will design a personalized, results-driven program for the facilitation of management communication training within your corporate environment today. Call so we can sit down and “just talk” about the outcomes you wish to produce. The defined program will incorporate the “Talk to Me” communication system within the work dynamic at your company, thereby increasing the effectiveness of the communication exchange and workflow while promoting a positive team dynamic. In short, you will get great results using good communication strategies.

ABOUT MANAGEMENT AND LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION CONSULTANT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author of three works, and the developer and originator of the “Talk to Me” leadership communication training programs. Positive results are quickly produced and measured using this system which is personally led by Dr. Dennis O’Grady who is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, USA. He can be reached by phone at (937) 428-0724 or on the Internet at www.drogrady.com. “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” describes his powerful new communication system that will work for your company or family. Dennis is also a “relationship communication expert” and is the father of three daughters, two of whom are teenagers. Dr. O’Grady will help you drive down the two-way communicator highway today, instead of stay stuck on a speed bump of life that can bum out everyone’s creative energy, motivation and needed synergy. His book is available at Amazon.

Do you use gold standards of positive and effective employee communication? Nah, I’m not here to say you should butter up your boss, co-workers or employees with dishonest sweet talkin’ jive. But I am saying you have better communication skills than a baboon, or a 15-year-old teenager, don’t you? Short story: Do you treat your customers or employees, who are one and the same, like yesterday’s newspaper used to line a litter box? If so, then you are promoting “rusty standards” of bad communication instead of “gold standards” of good communication.

GOLD STANDARDS OF GOOD COMMUNICATION

What are some ways that you can be more empathetic to your employees (spouse, children, customers, etc.) to make sure they know how needed and respected each and every one of them are?

1. Communicate better than a baboon. Not that a baboon doesn’t communicate, it’s just more aggressive and defensive than what works with words in the human world.

2. Treat ’em like they’re human. When positives are wrapped up and stowed away, negatives are saluted. That’s why “gossip galore is a bore.”

3. “Thanks for putting in the extra effort!” Can’t find anything nice to say? Baloney! Give great feedback that doesn’t grate on anyone’s nerves by giving thanks for extra efforts.

4. Feed right into the positive. You catch more bees with sugar than with vinegar. Feed people what they like to hear, if it’s genuinely true, and they’ll feel happier on the job.

5. Remember that talk is priceless. Positive talk softens the backlog of hard feelings and miscommunication.

6. Be a confidence-builder. Confidence-builders catch you in the act of doing a good deed, and say: “Look what you voluntarily do so well.”

7. Openly share “little” silent appreciations aloud. Blame-keepers only keep on the lookout for mistakes made, while “gold card talkers” focus on “This is another reason why I appreciate you and your going above and beyond the call of duty again!”

USE YOUR RELATIONSHIP INTELLIGENCE

Do you have the people skills of a baboon? The patience of a tick? Then become acquainted with a friend named the patience of positive communication. We human beings like feeling powerful vs. powerless. Don’t think you’re wasting words when you share your appreciation or compliments.

EVER SEEN A U-HAUL FULL OF GOLD BARS BEHIND A HEARSE?

I know you don’t take employees feelings lightly. Have you ever seen a U-haul full of gold bars behind a hearse? Nope, so remember your opinion matters to your fellow workers, customers and clients. Are you sharing openly what you like and dislike in equal fashion? Or are you being too quiet on the “employee accreditation front.”

ABOUT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D., LEADER COMMUNICATION AND STRATEGIC DECISION-MAKING PSYCHOLOGIST AND EXPERT

E-type or Empathizer employees feel like they’re wearing their feelings on their shirt sleeve. In reverse fashion, I-type or Instigator employees wear their brainy beliefs on their chest. E-types feel more gratification from “helping others,” while I-types feel more secure in helping the mission or global company objective be achieved. Either communicator type likes to hear a nice thing or three on occasion, especially after many miles have been put under their tires on a long success trip. Dr. O’Grady is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” Autographed copies are available at his Web site or books at Amazon.

You don’t have a communication problem. You don’t have a communication problem you can’t fix. “Talk to Me” is a communication system that “keeps it simple” by using the metaphor of driving to discuss the business of positive and effective communication. Do you have a communication problem because you think that YOU are the problem and it’s all your fault?

DOES YOUR DRIVING STYLE LIGHT EVERYONE UP OR LET EVERYONE DOWN?

Communication is 100% the issue, because when you can communicate clearly, you have a much better chance of solving the problem. “What we try and resolve isn’t going away!” is another way of saying that old reoccurring problems (or no brakes) are taking the toll in your work or home life, or both. The bottom line: Does your communication style light up others, let everyone down, and how do you know for sure?

YOU’RE DRIVING SAFELY AND SANELY ON THE TWO-WAY COMMUNICATION HIGHWAY

Let’s simplify the communication process by using the driving metaphor to turn the spotlight on good communication. This is your DOT, or Dictionary of Talk.

COMMUNICATION EDUCATION CLASSES. You probably had some driver’s education classes. But what communication classes did you have when you were in grade school, high school or college? Thought so. Most people learn communication by flying by the seat of their pants. Did you graduate from the School of Communication Hard Knocks?

COMMUNICATOR’S/DRIVER’S LICENSE. This is what you get after you take the required communication driver’s education courses, learn the rules of the road and practice safe driving habits with a good coach.

ONE-WAY STREET. “It’s my way or the highway!” thinking, or one-way talks from control freaks.

ROAD RAGE. What happens as the result of drivers who suffer from a “knee-jerk, me-jerk” reaction that drops your I.Q. to one digit called the middle finger.

TWO-WAY TRAFFIC. “It’s my way, your way, our way, O.K.?!” dialogues instead of monologues.

BLIND SPOT. This is what happens when you’re unaware of, or don’t see, accidents waiting to happen because of a blind spot in your side mirror.

STOPPING TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS. When lost, do you solve the problem by doing the new instead of repeating old patterns/habits that don’t work?

CUSTOMER SERVICE. Best exemplified by asking your #1 customer “So, how’s it goin’?” and listening with interest to the answer.

COMMUNICATOR COLLEGE. Your #1 customer is your partner, wife or husband. What grade are you getting in communicator college in their books?

2 COMMUNICATOR CARS. There are two colors of communicator cars. Either you drive an ocean-blue Empathizers’ car or a burnt-orange Instigators’ car. First things first: Which type of talk car are you, and on which side is your steering column?

4 TALK LANES. Empathizers driving the blue cars like to drive in the two lanes of Emotions and Talks. In contrast, Instigators driving the burnt orange cars prefer to drive in the 2 lanes of Beliefs and Behaviors.

BLARING RADIO. When the two different types of communicators try to talk, often what they hear is static, noise or worrisome and grating gunk on the airwaves…interference that affects dialogue.

FOG. Fog on the highway are all those emotions that are difficult to feel and still stay relatively calm and sane. They include feelings such as sorrow, shame, blame or guilt, fear, terror, and the embarrassment of not knowing.

SPEED LIMIT. Under stress, some people drive at “extremes” and may “rush” down the highway to get somewhere so fast that they either don’t enjoy the scenery or get pulled over by a policeperson and handed a ticket.

FLAT TIRE. Driving over a nail, or an antagonist putting a nail under your tire, creates a slow leak and a “flat mood that’s falling fast.” You can pump up your tire with positive inner talk and an optimisitic attitude.

LOW ON GAS. Energy is about “re-fueling” stops and gauging how much “gas” you have left before you run out.

ENERGY THIEFS. These are negative people, or pessimists, who siphon off your gas while trying to become a positive person, but in reality, they leave you feeling lost, empty or lonely.

DETOURS. These are represented by unhealthy anger that keeps you focused on blaming and trying to change others instead of being the leader of your own life and changing what you can, namely YOU.

ROAD MAP. You have a huge road map in your glove box to help you get where you want to go, although first you must decide what journey you would like to map out for your the next phase of your life.

BE IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT OF YOUR LIFE. No one else owns your life, and you don’t owe anyone your life, because you are free to drive where you need to. To drive down the road less traveled, you must first be in the driver’s seat of your life.

JUNK IN THE TRUNK. You carry relationship resentments around with you, right? You put these grudge bags in the trunk. Clearing out the junk in the trunk allows new things to come into your life.

BATTERY CHARGE. Negatalkers dim the emotional battery of Empathizers and dim the physical battery of Instigators in straightforward and devious ways.

ROAD SIGNS. Change means you’ve been driving to work the same way every day for years down the same communication highway, familiar with all the road signs along the way but always ignoring them because you know where you were going. Suddenly, one day the road signs turn to a different language, causing you to stop and question how to proceed.

ROAD KILL. It’s what happens (and what you feel like) when you and a talk passenger get into a fight and tell each other what you think…words that were better left unsaid.

“ARE WE THERE, YET?” This is the kind of “car talk” that strains your last nerve, and makes you feel that you are losing your concentration to the anxiety-anger-nervousness relationship cycle.

ROADBLOCKS. What obstacles stand in the way of you reaching your change destination on time?

IDIOT DRIVERS. These are “bad drivers” who make mistakes to make you feel like a goat on a rope in a power play.

POWER PLAY. This is what happens when you try to get your way at the expense of a relationship.

PAYBACKS ARE HELL, NOT SWELL. You know how it feels when you cut off someone in traffic? Or slam on the brakes to scare the life out of the idiot who deserves to be taught a lesson by someone like you? That’s a hellish payback…dangerous, and not always that effective to eject the negative person from your skull.

FEEDBACK. Critical or complimentary feedback about how and why to drive better or more safely without losing face.

BLAMING AND SHAMING. Making yourself right, and the other person wrong, doesn’t right anything that’s been turned over.

TOW TRUCK DRIVER. Let’s hear it for Communications coaches who can help you get on the road again after you’ve spun off the road or been involved in an accident.

GUILT BOMBS. Best described as someone else’s problems/blaming dropped on ya’ when you are in the middle of enjoying the scenery.

ROAD TAR. A good wash and wax removes the road dirt and grit, the grease and grime of tough travelin’ times. This is because you pick up tar and dings from the roadway.

POTHOLES. Be prepared for unexpected trip-ups and all sorts of things that go bump in the night..things that make people curse aloud (or under their breath).

ATMOSPHERE/ENVIRONMENT. It’s the hot-cold regulator of you life: don’t turn on the heat when it’s already hot outside, but do keep cool when things heat up (communicationally speaking).

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS. You are in either a Controlling, a Friendship or a Loving Relationship with yourself AND with all the passengers in the car.

KEYS TO UNLOCK DOORS. There are “little keys” to unlock all the locked doors of communication, the very doors that prohibit getting in your communicator car to begin your journey.

CRASH INSURANCE. Think of it as “relationship enhancement counseling” and inspirational messages about getting a grip on good communication…before it’s too late.

Talk positively by using an optimistic attitude about your travels on the two-way communicator highway. When you are cut off in traffic, you don’t have to revert to non-verbal gestures but smile instead as you go on your way to a better day.

ABOUT EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION SEMINAR LEADER AND KEYNOTE SPEAKER DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the developer of the “Talk to Me” communication system that improves strategic decisions and positive results for companies and families. He is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, and founder of New Insights Communication. “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is available at www.drogrady.com and Amazon.

Are you in a world of talk or a world of hurt or frustration? Either you’re in the business of better communication or you’re not in business at all, y’all. For example, what do you feel is the missing key to unlock a closed or locked door of communication? And, how could you improve your communication skills today that will pay dividends in your career tomorrow? Actually, those were the very questions I recently asked to workshop audience members made up of business executives and leaders.

THE GREEN LIGHT OF GOOD TALK AT THE CROSSROADS OF THE CHANGING BUSINESS WORLD

Got time to talk? You are plenty wise to get to know the communicator type of the people with whom you’re talking. That way, you don’t have to accommodate their style but you can when it will create win-win partnerships. How can you give the green light to good talk?

1. Focus like a hawk. Be more focused on what others are saying, than what you are going to jump in and say next.

2. Seek to be a better communicator and ye shall find. Set a goal to improve your communication skills a little each day, and within a year you will make smooth communication moves that net friendships.

3. Match the talk tempo. Communicating with a talk partner is like jogging or dancing together; taking turns talking or making points and matching the pitch and pace of talking gives the green light to good talk. Match the talk tempo.

4. Don’t stare off into outer space. Try to keep your eyeballs touching, and smile or nod your head in agreement when you do.

5. Enjoy feeling stupid. Leaders who aren’t “know it alls” listen really well because they are always in a learning mode.

6. Save the best for first. Instead of “saving the best for last,” do as much of what’s important to your work passions first.

7. Be on “your time.” Take time to think issues through, including four minutes of self-study or personal meditation each day.

8. Listen with “three ears.” Deep listening changes the listener and the speaker. You can’t listen with a half of an ear AND multitask AND get the drift of the complete message.

9. Change what isn’t working. Pick a flaw or an Achilles heel and work on daily improvement. For example, if you dislike change park in a new parking spot every day.

10. Connect instead of dissect. “It’s your fault!” is a way of shunning that dissects drivers on the two-way communication highway and creates a disconnect. If there’s no one to blame, what would you be doing differently today to make your dreams come true?

11. Don’t be content with feeling contented. Like the Rabbit in the parable of the Tortoise and the Hare, sit smugly on your laurels and you will be passed by in a hurry.

12. Tell the truth. You must have “guts galore” and express true feelings and thoughts that might hurt someone.

13. Know the communicator type of those you work for. You can’t always surround yourself with positive people, so know the quirks of your opposite communicator type so you don’t take things too personally.

That’s why good talk isn’t cheap, it’s priceless!

GIVE THE GREEN LIGHT TO GOOD TALK

When at first you don’t succeed, try, try doing something DIFFERENT for a change. Doing more of what isn’t working, still won’t work to resolve the communication problem at the crossroads. Enough already of you yakking about how taking time to listen will help you communicate better, and then drifting off into dreamland whenever times get tough or a bore gets off on being on a soapbox.

IS YOUR COMMUNICATION A COMFORT ZONE OR A COFFIN?

Has your “comfort zone” really become a coffin with money stuffed inside of it waiting for you to drop by? Ask questions and more questions. Feel proud to be a dumbbell who’s a “know-it-little.”

ABOUT LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION PSYCHOLOGIST DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton-based communications psychologist and relationship expert who has spent over 30 years of his career dedicated to the advancement of organizational and leadership development, personal executive coaching, effective couple communication skills, and positive and effective communication strategies for anyone. Dennis is the author of three books, and father to three daughters, two of whom are teenagers. Dr. O’Grady is the developer of the “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” system available on his Web site and at Amazon.

What goes bump in the night? Here’s what: bad communications habits that are as easy as sleepwalking into a wall? Really, bad communication is SO easy to do and it’s SO-O easily repeated that, too much of the time, we all do it unmindfully, as if we really are sleepwalking. Elsewhere, I’ve put forth “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Communicators.” Now it’s time for a look at poor, warped communication, the equivalent of driving 70 mph in the dark, without headlights.

INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATORS EXPERTLY PASS ALONG NEGATIVE FEELINGS

Here’s how to be an ineffective communicator who passes bad feelings along, one who doesn’t solve problems but multiplies the psychodrama of it all. To be a bad communicator:

1. Be a worry wart. Pass along your worries to others.

2. Be a control freak. Try to perfectly control everyone and everything.

3. Be a know-it-all. Lecture others on the right way to live.

4. Be a close-minded listener. Listen only to who tells you what you feel comfortable hearing.

5. Be a lame blamer. Blame everyone (including yourself) for what you can change, but won’t.

6. Be a people fixer. Be the shining knight in armor who is resented and becomes a resenter, while your life energy is drained away by people who don’t want to change.

7. Be stuck being the same. Be the same person you’ve always been since 16 and be proud of the safety and security of a negative attitude.

IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT’S HAPPENING…DO, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT

You are response-able and account-able for your life. You alone are in the driver’s seat of your life. Don’t leave the driving to someone else…especially a nay-sayer who objects to anyone feeling happy, contented and full of peace. If you don’t like your life, you can change what’s not working by consciously using the “what keeps me feeling up instead of down” positive habits of your communicator type. Pair those feelings with the purposeful adoption of the “can’t get me down for long” strengths of your opposing communicator type.

Believe YOU, it’s true!

ABOUT KEYNOTE SPEAKER, COPORATE TRAINER, CEO PERSONAL COACH, BUSINESS CONSULTANT, SEMINAR LEADER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady knows you will love what happens when you use the habits of highly effective communicators to have highly positive and productive relationships. His research has involved the two communicator types that talk to you from four talk lanes. First things first: Know who you’re talking to by type, and with a little practice, you will be talking more effectively to everyone you come into contact with. O’Grady’s book “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is available at his Web site and at Amazon. You no longer can afford the heavy price tag of being a poor communicator!