Mind Control: NOT That I’m Saying You Don’t Communicate Enough

You’re not being paranoid if you think somebody is trying to control your mind! Lots of people try to influence your thinking and hypnotically entice you to be a friend by acquiescing to or agreeing with their viewpoint or “opinionizing.”  If you’re curious about mind control, then read on.

MIND CONTROL IS DOUBLE-SPEAK

Mind control is double-speak, or a talker inserting suggestive directives into your unguarded mind as if they are the gospel truth. Who’s minding your mind? Imagine if you will, that your mind openly lends its full attention to (and literally soaks up) the words that follow the use of the word “NOT.”

As in…”NOT that I’m saying you’re selfish!”

That statement suggests to a listener that he/she is expected to behave in selfish and self-centered ways. How’s that for some slick, tricky talking? Plus, any sentence that immediately follows the word NOT will be amplified, and thus be an action command inserted into your mind like a computer chip. Whoa, Nelly!

ANY SENTENCE, SENTIMENT OR DIRECTIVE THAT FOLLOWS THE WORD “NOT” IS AN AMPLIFIED COMMAND

Mind control is so simple and effective that it can make you queasy. But some of the sparring practices below can help you better understand this disarming technique.

Communication
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you don’t ever talk to me. I’m just saying you don’t communicate enough.
Mind Control: “You don’t ever talk to me AND you don’t communicate enough!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to communicate effectively with me.

Emotional Intelligence
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re nuts. I’m just saying you don’t make any sense.
Mind Control: “You’re nuts AND you don’t make any sense!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to disagree with me or be who you are.

Age
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re too old. I’m just saying you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.
Mind Control: “You’re too old AND you can’t teach old dogs new tricks!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to change and grow.

Worry
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re a worry wart. I’m just saying there’s nothing you can do about it.
Mind Control: “You’re a worry wart AND there’s nothing you can do about it!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to feel relaxed or to calm yourself down.

Stress
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you don’t have a right to be upset. I’m just saying you’re dwelling on it too much.
Mind Control: “You don’t have a right to be upset AND you’re dwelling on it too much!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to deal with or discuss your emotions constructively.

Anger
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you shouldn’t be mad. I’m just saying you act like a hothead when you’re ticked off.
Mind Control: “You shouldn’t be mad AND you act like a hothead when you’re ticked off!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to use anger assertively.

Time
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re lazy. I’m just saying you waste time.
Mind Control: “You’re lazy AND you waste time!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to make enough time to get anything important done.

Money
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you are a spendthrift. I’m just saying you think money grows on trees.
Mind Control: “You are a spendthrift AND you think money grows on trees!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to use money in responsible ways.

Happiness
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you can’t be happy. I’m just saying you don’t appreciate what you’ve got.
Mind Control: “You can’t be happy AND you don’t appreciate what you’ve got!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to feel satisfied and contented here and now.

Complaining
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re a big, whiny baby. I’m just saying you’re too negative for your own good.
Mind Control: “You’re a big, whiny baby AND you’re too negative for your own good!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to lead your life or change without pressure.

Unfair Fights
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying you take things too personally.
Mind Control: “You’re wrong AND you take things too personally!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to be trustworthy before you speak.

Conflict
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you shouldn’t speak up. I’m just saying you’re pushing too hard for control.
Mind Control: “You shouldn’t speak up AND you’re pushing too hard for control!”
Relationship Command: I don’t expect to resolve dissatisfactions in this relationship.

Men/Women
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying men are better than women. I’m just saying men are naturally better at many things.
Mind Control: “Men are better than women AND men are naturally better at many things!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect to get along with the opposite sex.

Selfishness
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re selfish. I’m just saying it’s always about you.
Mind Control: “You’re selfish AND it’s always about you!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect give-and-take in our relationship.

Civility
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re rude. I’m just saying if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.
Mind Control: “You’re rude AND if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to be honest, open and ethical when it might hurt me.

Stupidity
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you’re stupid. I’m just saying that what you did wasn’t too smart.
Mind Control: “You’re stupid AND what you did wasn’t too smart!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect you to think before you speak.

Givers/Takers
Double-Speak: NOT that I’m saying you aren’t trying. I’m just saying you take more than you give.
Mind Control: “You aren’t trying AND you take more than you give!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect equal effort in a relationship.

Prosperity
Double-Speak: NOT that saying that money brings happiness. I’m just saying money makes feeling miserable a whole lot more tolerable.
Mind Control: “Money brings happiness AND money makes feeling miserable a whole lot more tolerable!”
Relationship Directive: I don’t expect love to rule in a relationship.

NOT THAT I’M SAYING YOU’RE A GREAT COMMUNICATOR WHO USES THE PSYCHOLOGY OF LEADERSHIP TALK TOOLS TO BE MORE EFFECTIVE

“Mean what you say, and say what you mean,” I say. Don’t give others a sideways insult. And don’t tell me what you aren’t saying. Instead, simply tell me what you are saying.

NOT that I’m saying someone can take your mind off guard with a simple, single word. NOT me!

Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides executive coaching and professional development training in Ohio and surrounding states. Dennis is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone” which is a leadership training workbook and is available in the resource store at his Web site www.drogrady.com. In this inspiring new communication program, you will learn the crucial differences between Empathizer-type communicators and Instigator-type communicators. Dr. O’Grady leads workshops, and provides leadership executive coaching and business consulting, about two new communicator types called Empathizers and Instigators. Chances are the person you struggle with the most, and whom you think of as a “difficult person,” is in fact your opposite communicator who is comfortable with what you are uncomfortable with. You can “test your type” and receive a free communicator type feedback report by clicking on the link “What’s Your Communicator Type.”
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