What’s so funny about peace, love and understanding your communication habits? During my communication training seminars and workshops, one of my jobs is to ask my audience a focused question to get important feedback about what hits home and what doesn’t. When I ask a “directive question,” I do my best to listen open-mindedly. I don’t play to platitudes or grind a grudge ax against the opposite sex, or anyone. It’s amazing how open people generally are to helping a genuine psychologist.
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT THE WORLD?
What one thing would you change about the world if you had the power and control to do so? C’mon now, dream big! Would you bring peace to Planet Earth, seek better schools, world-wide prosperity, religious tolerance, better bosses, cheaper gas, freedom from prejudice, less advertising on T.V. or what? Here are the results to the “If I could change one thing about our world….” question:
1. PEACE ……………. 37.93%
2. COMMUNICATE BETTER …………. 31.03%
3. SHOW MORE UNDERSTANDING TO EVERYONE …………. 13.79%
4. ELIMINATE GOSSIP ………. 10.34%
5. PROSPERITY ……… 6.90%
Do you listen tuned in to what you’re going to say next? It doesn’t have to be that way.
PEACE OF MIND AND PEACE OF COMMUNITY COME FROM BETTER COMMUNICATION THAT DOESN’T DISCOUNT OR MAKE ANYONE FEEL INVISIBLE AND UNWORTHY
Once again, money doesn’t lead the parade of human happiness. Never has, never will. True, you enjoy money and what it can bring, but you know judging a man by the size of his wallet, well, it’s still judging. Lo and behold, no surprise here: You and I and WE long for peace in our personal relationships, a peace that extends out from each family and goes outward extending into our world. Disruption, distraction, hard feelings, hurt egos and war stems from missed communication opportunities. If we can’t talk…at least wars and fights and backbiting keep us in touch.
ARE YOU WILLING TO PUT YOUR MOUTH WHERE YOUR MONEY IS?
Test yourself here to find out if you are putting energy into “communicating better to add peace and understanding to me and my relationships.”
1. I listen carefully to what someone else is saying to me, especially when I feel anxious about what is being said.
2. I apologize when I “talk over” anyone, especially children or elders or co-workers, to push my point down a closed throat.
3. I understand that relationship conflicts suggest that there is an “inner conflict” within me that I need to talk about.
4. I read or listen to information that helps me become a more positive and effective communicator every day of the week.
5. I move past a bad mood by improving myself in little ways that create large dividends.
6. I work with my communicator type, and know why I am an Empathizer-type or Instigator-type communicator.
7. I don’t blame myself for what others refuse to work on or change.
8. I am in my life…I am in the driver’s seat of my life…I am the leader of my own life…I use my emotions as energy to go where I desire to.
9. I don’t stay stuck in unproductive fights and relationship patterns or co-dependencies that drain my energy and battery dry.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST CAUSES OF MISCOMMUNICATION
If you know everything, there’s nothing to learn. Comprende, compadre?
Being a “know-it-little” is a far sight better than being a “know-it-all”, y’all. As a communications expert and family relationship psychologist, I’ve found the best answer is often a good question to which you don’t know the answer. In fact, one of the biggest causes of miscommunication that you and I face today is not being able to say “I don’t know.” For example, you will listen more carefully and more open-mindedly to a speaker when “I don’t know what the answer is but I’d like to find out” is your creative mindset.
SO YOU WANT PEACE, LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING?
If you want good communication, then you must first be a good communicator. If you want to be listened to, then first you must listen to your own confident inner wisdom that you don’t have to know everything. If you want understanding, then you must stop playing the blame game when you’re ticked off. If you desire closeness, then you must be a trustworthy person who keeps your word when you don’t much feel like it.
FIRST THINGS FIRST
So first things first. Meaning what? Meaning the first order of business today is for YOU to be a good communicator. To first communicate accurately to yourself. To second communicate positively with yourself. Third, to communicate your special message to a world that needs your “peace of your mind” instead of another piece of your mind. After all, your peace of mind is a terrible thing to misplace.
ABOUT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY WHO IS A PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER, COMMUNICATIONS COACH, SEMINAR LEADER, COUPLE COUNSELOR AND AUTHOR OF THREE SELF-IMPROVEMENT BOOKS
Dr. Dennis O’Grady believes that people like YOU are pretty sharp and have a lot on the ball. Namely, intelligent people who are open-minded individuals and who are seeking to know instead of seeking to be right even when wrong. O’Grady is a father to three interesting and inspiring daughters, a husband, and a loving son to his elder mother Elizabeth Merrill O’Grady. Dr. O’Grady is a banquet keynote speaker, and inventer of the powerful new talk system called “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” The book is dedicated to his mother.