Are you obsessed with a negative person in your life? Have you ever felt guilty for feeling resentful or angry at the kind of thinking that’s guilt trippin’ gut rippin’ mind twirlin’ deceptive clownin’ around “Why do bad things always have to happen to me, Charley Brown? Since I’m sad, down and kicked around…you’ve got to feel sorry and sympathetic for poor-pitiful-pathetic-little ole’ me and do something EXTRA for me that I won’t do for myself?!” In short, is there a guilt tripper who is playing with your psychic skin to make you conform to their will and feel touched in the head at the same time? I thought so, you wonderful soul!
WHO OWNS YOUR MIND, BABY?
Why does everyone feel sorry for the controlling, nit-picking, victim-violin-playing, “Why do bad things always have to happen to me?” sympathy seeker, the never wrong personality par excellence, the original DO FOR ME control freak, a head games champion, inventor of the negative psychodrama…drama storyline…master mind of the “I don’t get it…I didn’t mean to…It’s not my fault!” talk distractions, the NegaTalker who brainwashes you to worry and fear too much, the actions or results don’t match their big britches talk, the psychotic clown who is disguising their true motives…well, you get the point…your own personal guilt trip trainer is bad for your mind and health.
WHO’S TOUCHING YOUR PSYCHIC SKIN, DOLL?
When you are stuck in a relationship pattern with a guilt tripper, you will feel pain, lose confidence, absorb too much negative. It’s a psychological death called losing yourself and who you are…like locking your heart in a Pirates of the Caribbean dead man or woman’s chest. You become absorbed by the other…you start disappearing and become invisible…losing your identity like a Stepford wife/husband…killing yourself off and replacing the authentic you with a ridiculous robot.
GUILT SIGNPOSTS
These symptoms or clues are present when “psychocritquers” or CRITICIZERS and GUILT TRIPPERS OWN YOUR MIND and sap your self-identity and high self-esteem:
▫ You feel judged
▫ You feel psychoanalyzed to death
▫ You’re not sleeping well…you have “piece of mind,” not “peace of mind”
▫ Your inconsequential mistakes are the focus of attention instead of your miracles
▫ You’re mad as a barking dog at the postman
▫ You don’t often feel “good enough”
▫ You feel like a rusty old car in the junkyard
▫ You feel misunderstood and confused
▫ You can’t talk to your criticizer without getting into a fight
▫ You feel trapped and helpless…can’t get your truth out or true message across
▫ You are easily put off, out-talked, interrupted or talked over.
▫ You say the criticism silently to yourself repeatedly in your inner skull; you feel down, put off, stewing, mad and blue
▫ You’re driven bonkers and batty from repeating or continually hearing the unfair criticism
▫ The free minutes of your peaceful day are filled with “I wish I would’ve/could’ve/should’ve said!” ruminations
▫ Your mouth freezes up when you’re blasted down with unfair criticisms
▫ You shut down and become pessimistic…you doubt the good head that sits on top of your shoulders
▫ You come across “quieter”…like nothing much is bothering you when you are in fact stewing
▫ You tell all your friends about the stress…BUT you don’t talk back assertively and repeatedly to the psychocritiquer
▫ You don’t effectively confront the person causing your distress…ever…because you dislike hurting anyone’s feelings (except your own)
ARE YOU COMMUNICATING TO LIVE OR DIE?
Guilt trippers who specialize in playing “the blame and shame game” don’t change because they are seeking sympathy votes…and get them. In fact, when you confront a guilt tripper, he or she will say: “Are you angry at me? Why would you be angry at me when I am ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU!!” Yeah, they’ll help you alright…right out of your self-esteem, independence and confidence.
A GREAT AMERICAN SOB STORY
Does everybody feel sorry for the “guilt tripping perfectionistic nit-picker control freak” who doesn’t even try to help him or herself? Yes, almost everyone is a sucker for a good sob story. Guilt trippers write a Great American Sob Story. And you and I fall for their clown act…the “aw shucks I’m not too smart”…crapola that lands you in a dung heap that the guilt tripper will tell you is a pile of white sand on an exotic beach.
WHO’S CLOWNING AROUND WITH YOUR LIFE IN CRAZYMAKING WAYS?
Please stop feeling guilty for feeling resentful and angry at a guilt tripper who plays your sympathy strings to control you, your attitude, confidence and very life. Where is it written that it is your job to take care of the emotional welfare of a guilt tripper who is clowning around with your life in crazy-making ways? When next your psychic skin is touched by a guilt tripper, say, “Hands off me you creep!”
GET YOUR DAD PLUMB DUMB COTTON PICKIN’ HANDS OFF MY PSYCHIC SKIN, YOU CRAZYMAKING CLOWN OF A NIT-PICKIN’ GUILT TRIPPER!
Guilt trippers and guilt bombers have the uncanny ability to destroy the things they love the most…people, children, grandchildren, positive relationships. I think it’s due to the person’s being so fearful of change, of a painful reality being off-center from the way they expect or would prefer it to be–that they make themselves feel O.K. by making those around them feel not O.K. Which is NOT O.K.
Manipulating others to control emotions that frighten you…is a put-on and a put-off. Choose to face down your fears of change and changing emotions, instead.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, USA. Dennis writes a daily article on how to improve y/our communication skills at www.drogrady.com. His latest book is TALK TO ME: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone” available to order at the “resources” button on his Web site. Dr. O’Grady is considering that his next book will be: “Get Your Dad Plumb Dumb Cotton Pickin’ Hands Off My Psychic Skin, You Crazymaking Clown Of A Nit-Pickin’ Guilt Tripper!” The subtitle will be something equally evocative, like: “12,000 guilt trips that guilt trippers will get you to go on without giving you a map that you shouldn’t even think about because these guilt-tripping nit-pickers and psychocritiquers will keep trying to have a field day with your positive energy and self-esteem if you let them.” Now that’s a book title! Guilt bombers use guerilla talk tactics to stick pins in the WhoDo doll if you let them. Why be a rescuer when you can be yourself, instead!