As a psychologist and communications consultant, I lead a very interesting life, and I get asked many curious questions like this one, “Dr. O’Grady, do you have mother issues?” Well, I’m glad to blithely agree that, of course I have “mother issues!” Whoever has a mother has mother issues, right?
Hi, MOM! Happy Mother’s Day, MA!! Mom…you inspire love and hope to take place when hate is in the starting gates at the beginning of the race. Your voice and wise words are ALL-ways music to my ears!
Dear MA:
Happy Mother’s Day to you today!
Just wanted to let you know that you are the best MOM in the whole wide world! I am SO glad that we have a “real” relationship that is we-centered instead of me-centered. You’ve taught me that life is best traveled on a two-way communicator highway.
You’ve also pulled my butt out of the fire more times than I can ever repay. I’ve learned what “unconditional love” is from you…to stand by those you truly love who’ve been knocked down by life and feel plain, plumb dumb. And you’ve walked beside me whenever I made some pretty dumb life decisions (and experienced the consequences) BUT learned, changed, matured and moved on. I sure have learned to appreciate communication tools and handling moods from you.
As you know, I’m against “perfect”…including “the perfect mother” or “the perfect son/daughter.” Trying to be perfect is “perfectly insane.” I’ve also learned from/with you that, “The harder I try to control…the behinder I get!” Or, “The more I let go the more life goes the way life wants me to travel.” Ironically, I make the mistake of trying to control what I can’t control…and fail to exert control over what I can control.
I DO appreciate that you didn’t give me a hard time about becoming a psychologist. I love being a “talk therapy” psychologist, although as you’ve correctly guessed, it can be pretty emotionally draining and grueling some days. Hearing painful life stories, and hanging in there while the ashes of grief settle and new growth occurs, is not for the weak-of-heart. I do find that providing “meaningful service” to others is what life’s all about for me.
Well, you’re probably enjoying your beautiful day sitting by Al and Ginny’s lanai and hearing the babbling sound of the whirlpool cascading into their pool. You told me Al is going to grill? Hey, everything my older bro’ ever needed to know about grilling…I taught him! Right bro’? So glad we are ALL connected for all time. Hi Ginny!! For I am your very lucky-second son who knows how to double-up on your love.
Have you told Al yet that I am your favorite Smothers’ brothers son? Sibling rivalry aside, thanks for being my mom, Mom. I know it’s been a LONG while since Dad passed away…and I, too, miss him more than anything. BUT I’m more thankful than ever that we still all have each other to talk and listen to.
Mom you have repeatedly given me hope when I’ve been surrounded by darkness and fear. You’ve taught me that “There’s nothing to fear, including fear itself.” You’ve encouraged me to be emotionally honest and relationally literate. You’ve boosted my spirits in countless ways in the 50-plus years we’ve been together. And when I’ve felt like a complete idiot and failure, you haven’t scolded me with a “I told you so, Denny!” And when I’ve done good being a loving husband and father…you’ve rejoiced.
You are the way of LOVE MOM.
Your loving son,
Denny
Reader P.S.: I’ve dedicated my upcoming book “Talk to Me: Communication moves to get along with anyone” to Mom. Me-mum and I have grown closer through the years…as I’ve learned more about her personal journey and struggles and Mom has been a part of my life “oops.” Frankly, when I’ve most needed my mom to be there for me, she arrives on the talk crash scene with a confident air and solutions in hand.
Do I have mother issues? I hope so, because I DO SO love my mom and know the “real” woman that makes up that whopping psychological “imago” of “the perfect image of the perfect mom.” I prefer the Real Merrill-O’Grady. LUV YOU, MOM!!!
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the proud adult son of his beloved elder mother Elizabeth Merrill O’Grady, and a clinical psychologist who practices in Dayton, Ohio. His forthcoming book TALK TO ME is dedicated to his mother, Betty.