It’s All About You
BENEFITS OF KNOWING YOUR COMMUNICATOR TYPE?
“It’s all about you!” is a snappy cliché. But, of course it’s true. Empathizers fidget when I ask, “What’s in it for you?” Instigators don’t fight the fact that if “It’s not all about you!” then what’s it all about, anyway? Energy-wise, when you’re doing well the people around you do better. Your cohorts in communication will feel an energy upsurge just from being around you…the Talk to Me© system has taught you how to shift your emotional attitudes — to give you more talk latitude — which opens a new world of talk to you.
INVEST IN GOOD COMMUNICATION
Are you invested in good communication? Do you invest a little time and money daily to improve your communication skills? Why should YOU worry about how you talk to yourself or how you come across to others? Great questions….
DRIVING BLINDFOLDED ON THE COMMUNICATION HIGHWAY
Attempting to talk with someone without knowing the type of communicator you’re talking with is akin to driving a fast car down the highway blindfolded. Not recommended! For example, how do you handle feeling bad? Well, if you’re an Empathizer-type communicator (E-type) you strongly believe, “I’m supposed to first help others!” Oppositely, if you’re an Instigator-type communicator (I-type) you have no doubt that, “You’re supposed to help yourself!” Thus, how to feel better when you feel bad are viewed very differently by E- and I-types, which often causes confusion or conflict in relationships, both personal and work.
SHIFTING EMOTIONAL GEARS TO STEER CLEAR OF DEAD END TALK ALLEYS
How can you take charge of your mood, your change avenues, by steering around talk accidents just waiting to happen? Well, that’s what the Talk to Me© communication system is all about.
When you know and use your individual communicator style, you realize several advantages. For example, you…
1. Can maintain an upbeat mood during difficult times.
2. Will experience fewer distasteful, disagreeable and distracting verbal conflicts at work and home.
3. Will enjoy your life to a fuller extent.
4. Feel happier and more connected in all your relationships, including your private relationship with yourself.
5. Possess a feeling of unshakeable confidence.
6. Employ clear communication in each information transmittal.
7. Deliver more effective e-mails, speeches, family talks, memorable words.
8. Enjoy a leadership advantage.
9. Find yourself equipped to take charge of change.
10. Will be in the driver’s seat of your own life, when you use the unique advantages of your communication style.
11. Will find that resentment and anger have been removed from your life. You will travel light, no longer dragging unnecessary baggage around to bring down your mood or slow you down from getting where you need to go.
12. Find that contentment is at hand. Whether you’re an E- or I-type, you will feel far more at ease in your own skin — serene, relaxed, peaceful, unpressured. Your deep peace of mind leaves little room for unproductive worry.
Using the Talk to Me© communication system will simply work wonders in your life.
FIRST INVEST IN GOOD COMMUNICATION WITH YOURSELF
Emotions can steal your life show…particularly negative emotions.
You and I drive in four talk lanes. The Emotions lane is favored by E-types, but the Emotions mode of communication can keep the best among us tied up in knots of worry and frustration, whether you’re an Empathizer-type or an Instigator-type communicator.
Your communication is made more powerful and flexible when you learn how to drive down the four lanes of communication. When any of the driving lanes of Emotions, Beliefs, Behaviors, or Talks are jammed up, you will know how to casually switch lanes to travel more smoothly and effectively down the two-way talk highway. You’ll say “goodbye” to unhelpful anxiety, worry, and anger.
EMOTIONS DRIVE YOU?
Yes, emotions drive you. When you work closely with your emotions, new behaviors are created…and actions speak louder than shouted words coming out of the bullhorn of extreme emotions.
WHO IS COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST DENNIS O’GRADY?
Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is a corporate trainer, relationship coach and keynote banquet speaker from Dayton, Ohio. Talk to Me© teaches everyone the incredible benefits of effective life management communication skills.
Are you too emotionally driven occasionally? Empathizers are run around the block by their emotions. Instigators run away from their emotions for fear of being dominated or controlled by them. Either way, you can learn to use your emotions to your advantage, building compassion and wisdom.
Men and women alike use a “feel good” or “bad feeling” gauge in their blue or burnt orange communicator cars. If I feel good, I don’t need to change. If I feel bad, I may need to change. Actually, you want to become an expert communicator to get off the roller coaster of extremely good or bad times.
You can change and learn to shift emotional gears when you need to, by using the Talk to Me© system. It’s all laid out in easy steps, much like learning driving tips from a textbook. Empathizers blame themselves when others don’t change, while Instigators blame others for a situation that doesn’t change. Can you name the four talk lanes you can drive in? What are your options when the lane or road you’re traveling in is closed? If you don’t know, you are not licensed to drive on the two-way communication highway…and you’re wasting your energy in blame games that lead to a town called Nowhere.


Men and women alike use a “feel good” or “bad feeling” gauge in their blue or burnt orange communicator cars. If I feel good, I don’t need to change. If I feel bad, I may need to change. Actually, you want to become an expert communicator to get off the roller coaster of extremely good or bad times. You can change and learn to shift emotional gears when you need to, by using the Talk to Me© system. It’s all laid out in easy steps, much like learning driving tips from a textbook.
Comment by Dr. Dennis O'Grady — August 22, 2007 @ 6:29 am
TACTICAL COMMUNICATION
It all boils down to how you feel about lack of communication. When you don’t discuss things and people have two different sets of expectations (or more) there’s bound to be upset. I’ve taken what I’ve learned from your system to say, “It’s not that big of deal when you’re tactical in your communication.”
I agree with you that it’s all about better communication. Tactical communication avoids lots of miscommunications. It’s also about better communication about the mundane stuff and the big ideas. The old anger that I was so put upon isn’t any longer there. In fact, I don’t hate communicating…I just didn’t do it enough.
Comment by Jim — August 22, 2007 @ 2:53 pm
CLARIFY AND CONFIRM
That’s what we all took from your workshop with us at our company retreat on improving our listening skills. Just talk clearly…clarify…and CONFIRM that what you think has been said is indeed what was meant.
Great job!
Comment by Jerry — August 22, 2007 @ 2:56 pm
THREE SKILLS TO IMPROVE CONVERSATION
By: Brian Tracy
One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.
THE BENEFITS OF PAUSING
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing.
Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity.
The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.
ASK QUESTIONS
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, “How do you mean, exactly?”
This is the most powerful question I’ve ever learned for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, “How do you mean?” the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.
Comment by Brian Tracy — August 22, 2007 @ 4:34 pm