Do you live with someone or work around a person who is short-tempered or irritable? Are you aware that a moody person drains the energy of positive people who are powerful communicators? The purpose of snide remarks – known as snarky comments – is to hurt you and catch you off guard by sarcastically twisting the truth. Your self-confidence is poisoned and your hopeful mind is obliterated with negative thinking.
A snark is a shark dressed in a dolphin’s swimming suit. How one Empathizer described a Negatalker shark at work who’s snarky…
I read your article, “Negatalkers: People At Work Who Drain You.” What is the best way to deal with employees like this? I have one who spends her whole day doing this. She’s been with the company for decades and thinks she knows the best way to do everything. I have been her co-worker and now supervisor. It is truly hell to work with her. She doesn’t do her job well, so I have to reassign her tasks. Firing her is probably out of the question. Getting away from her negative behaviors would help greatly. Any advice?
Snarks specialize in putting you between a rock and a hard place. Problem is: You’re snarked if you do try to interact with them and you’re snarked if you don’t. Awareness is the first step to changing this energy-draining dance.
SNARKY: THE GOAL IS TO HURT
Here’s the “light came on” psychology behind Negatalkers, who pride themselves in living in the shadows by being snarky…
1. SPITEFUL. Snarks believe that if you hurt or sting from their finger jabbed in your eye, you deserve it. Should you grow a thicker skin to cope?
2. HATEFUL. Snarks believe you’re the gum on somebody’s shoe, a bad person who should lower your head when they walk by. Do hurtful words bounce off or stick to you?
3. SNIPES. Snarks gripe, snipe, snip, zap, and sap the positive energy of sensitive souls. Does your mind become confused when diffused with gutless negativity?
4. SNIDE. Snarks believe they have the perfect right to judge you and hand you a manure sandwich. What guilt trip are you packing for?
5. MEAN-SPIRITED. Snarks prey on people who are passionately caring. Who’s the energy vampire in your life that you’re baring your neck to?
6. FINGER-POINTING. Snarks always take the cheap parting shot because they believe you’re the one who has the problem. Do you remember when a finger is pointed at you, four fingers are pointing back at the blamer?
7. BRAINWASHING. Snarks impress feelings into others to ruin dreams and scheme to keep dark clouds over the sun of good ideas. Do Negatalkers drain the cup of your optimism with bad vibe feelings and impressions that make you think upside-down is really right-side up?
8. ENTITLEMENT. Snarks believe “You owe me!” for the troubles they’ve created. Are you a guilt magnet because you’re so tuned into the feelings of others?
9. DELIGHT IN DESTROYING. Snarks believe you should pretend that everything is fine after they puncture the tire of your self-esteem with a knife. Do you feel the spirit of change moving you to park clear of Negatalkers?
10. IT’S JUST A GAME OF WORDS…NOT AN EXPERIENCE. It’s just a game for Snarks to say the words that penetrate you with loss. Do you willingly bring loss into your life by opening the door to pessimists?
11. LIMITING OPTIONS. Snarks believe you should have a caring relationship with someone who despises you. Are you getting tired of feeling you have to pay dues to a relationship tyrant?
12. IRRITATING AND ANNOYING. Snarks want you to live a limited life that includes catering to them. Are you allowing your gas tank to being siphoned off by annoying people?
13. NOT SORRY FOR SAYING THE HURTFUL COMMENT. Snarks are only sorry for getting caught saying a nasty comment that is truer about them than you. Don’t you have your own set of issues and goals to work through?
14. SPINNING. Snarks are the spin doctors of all times – they brainwash you in conniving and convincing ways. Isn’t it time to look for greener pastures?
15. MISERY LOVES COMPANY. What hurts you makes a Snark happy. Can you accept that some people are hateful, spiteful, and vengeful, and only feel good when you feel bad?
16. RIDING THE PITY PONY. Snarks spread poison like a Scorpion behind the scenes. Are you riding the pity pony when you should be taking the bus?
17. DRIVING THE WEDGE. Snarks drive a wedge between good and loving people like YOU and what is important to you. Are you promoting chaos when you can’t get to sleep because you’re thinking about Snarks?
Your good mood and positive communication tools are the antidotes to stop the spreading poison that all generations of Negatalkers inflict. Snarks, it seems, use the oldest tricks in the book, with the new twist of a moniker that befits a diabolical communicator.
ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY, Psy.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Communication Expert and Developer of the TALK2ME Communication Roadmap. You, too, can profit from better communication! Talk with Dennis at 937-428-0724.