The Appearance Of Confidence (And The Reality Of Competence)

The appearance of confidence and the demonstration of personal power and communication prowess is a core strength Empathizer-type (E-type) communicators feverishly admire about their Instigator-type (I-type) communicator counterparts in the Talk2Me© system. For instance, I-types can sell snow to Eskimos and don’t have trouble shrugging off stupid comments. I-types are a picture perfect example of: “I am confident about this, so follow me!”

THE CONFIDENCE FACTOR…E-TYPES VIEW OF I-TYPES

Let’s back up a minute. What strength set do you secretly admire about “The Confident Person?” Perception may not be everything, but it sure is at the top of the Talk Totem Pole. Characteristics the Empathizer (or E-type) perceives the Instigator (who is the E-type’s opposite talk type) as having, center around the appearance of confidence power.

I-types appear self-assured and powerful by ever-confidently showing:

• The appearance of power
• The ability to get the crowd’s attention
• An aura of dominance and competence
• An instantly high credibility factor
• A Believability Factor: The ability to really sell well even when not sure of the details
• The ease to shrug off worry while flying high on the stress trapeze
• The ability to not lose sleep by worrying about what happened during the day
• That they have bad moments but not bad days
• That they get over the bumps in the road without dwelling on them or gritting their teeth
• They can move on down the road, not looking in the rearview mirror, while E-types constantly mull things over regarding what was or what wasn’t said or done
• They don’t want to go back in time and change things: “It’s over and I can’t do anything about it now!”

• That they are able to keep their composure during emergencies or extremely stressful situations
• That they are able to hide emotions and keep calm
• That they are like the Wizard of Oz, able to maintain an image of power
• They can even control their jitters or heart poundings and other anxieties
• That they won’t burst into tears and go down the drain as a weak and vulnerable person who can’t buck up
• They aren’t afraid to take risks
• They aren’t afraid to give their opinions
• They have no doubts about their thoughts
• They are more likely to be an entrepreneur
• Confidence in saying: “Hey, I can do this; just give me a chance….”
• They don’t have to ask for everybody’s opinions about a venture
• They don’t need others approval to take initiative
• That they are quicker to go all in instead of fold with a good hand!
• An optimistic focus on “when” we do this or that vs. “if” we do this or that
• The desire to ask forgiveness rather than ask permission

Instigators are powerful communicators who are naturally born optimists with a half-full glass that is overflowing with confidence.

CONFIDENCE: THE ONE COMMON DENOMINATOR ADMIRED BY ALL…ARE YOU QUICKER TO FOLD WHEN YOU HAVE A GOOD HAND, OR ARE YOU GOING TO STAY IN THE GAME?

If you are an E-type, you will be quicker to fold with a good hand in a poker game than to go all in! Instigators as live-hard I-types both find AND make more opportunities for themselves, enabling themselves to advance faster up the corporate ladder. I-types aren’t as likely to get stuck in a dead end position, because they’re like a “beep-beep” roadrunner who drives right past you, leaving you in the dust. I-types just take off with an idea and don’t care about criticism. I-types get more opportunity for the opportunity. Far more bang for their opportunity buck, so to speak.

CONFIDENCE VS. COMPETENCE…ARE YOU A LAMB OR A LION?

E-types are a naturally competent bunch of guys and gals who can err by not exuding an aura of confidence. I-types are a naturally confident bunch of gals and guys who can err by not relishing the research of competence. Are you a mixture of confidence and competence? The Expert Communicator, in the Talk2Me© system, is a blend of E- and I-type strengths, one who can intertwine the powers of confidence and competence in centering and comfortable ways. No easy task, for sure, to combine the talents of the lion and the lamb!

THE APPEARANCE OF CONFIDENCE AND THE REALITY OF COMPETENCE

I-types will tell you they’re not so composed on the inside, much like the image from the “Wizard of Oz” when the curtains were pulled aside to reveal the smoke and mirrors tricks. I-types are surprised that you and I haven’t caught on that they hide their emotions so well. Yet, the single common denominator that radiates down each spoke from the hub of The Opportunity Wheel is CONFIDENCE. Put loud confidence and soft competence together – and you will have an unstoppable team with high morale and creative staying power…and things will get done!

ABOUT TALK DOC, DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is known as the Talk Doc since the advent of his positive and effective communication system, The Talk to Me© Communication Roadmap. Dennis is president of the Dayton Psychological Association and is a clinical professor at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology. His talk textbook, Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, received the 2008 Axiom Business Book Award Silver Medal. He can be reached by calling (937) 428-0724.

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