Charlie Brown and Lucy mixed it up like oil and water in the comic strip “Peanuts,” penned by legendary laugh artist Charles Schulz. But do you know why? Get the talk accident scene: Charlie Brown once again ready to run and kick the football…skeptically looking at Lucy who is holding the football…memories of past incidents when Lucy pulled away the football at the last minute…and Charlie Brown spinning ‘round and ‘round in the air and falling to the ground on his can. Oh, no, Charlie Brown! Why did you think Lucy would change?
CHARLIE BROWN WAS LUCY’S OPPOSITE COMMUNICATOR TYPE, WHICH MADE HER HARDER TO UNDERSTAND, UNTIL NOW
In this heart warming comic adventure, time and again, at the last minute Lucy would pull away the football. How frustrating! Lovable, sappy, venerable Charlie Brown…. He always thought Lucy might change. Why couldn’t Charlie Brown get it through his lame brain that impish, pot-stirrer Lucy, the bombastic debater she was, was going to get the last laugh and outtalk him every time? If you hear yourself say “Why does this always happen to me?” it might mean you have a Lucy in your life, too.
EMPATHIZER (E-TYPE) TRAITS OR STRENGTHS
You tell me if Charlie Brown fits this list of Empathizer characteristics, independently arrived at in a Talk2Me© group training session:
1. Sensitive to others’ feelings
2. Follows “Don’t hurt and don’t do harm” rule
3. Good at listening
4. Learns best talking with others about problems
5. Word power: Promises should be kept or not made at all
6. Gets on same level with you…doesn’t look down upon others
7. Adaptable, flexible, easy-going, considerate, polite
8. Knows in gut what’s true and what’s not
9. Fear of failure lurks around when goes outside of comfort zone
10. Will work for complete understanding of all sides to an issue
11. Seeks to meet your needs, get your buy in on decisions, in tune
12. “Stabilizers” during conflicts
13. Risk cautious: “It’s better to ask permission than to risk getting into trouble!”
Now, go back down the list quickly with Lucy in mind. How well does this listing of strengths fit her personality? Well, hey, yes, the shoe doesn’t fit.
INSTIGATOR COMMUNICATOR (I-TYPE) TRAITS
Instigator communicators can be hardheaded and thick-skinned. Now, how much does Lucy fit the following list of top gun communication style:
1. Determined to seize the day in a predetermined way
2. Follows “Sometimes you have to hurt people to make progress happen”
3. Good at strategizing
4. Learns best telling others how to solve their problems
5. A black-and-white thinker who doesn’t like washed out grays
6. Prefers to be at higher levels…Futuristic thinkers and planners
7. Hurry up: Why not put old grudges behind us and move on?
8. Trusts head to think clearly over heart emotions, behaves assertively, pushes forward
9. Fears loss, losing or looking foolish when goes outside of comfort zone
10. Doesn’t beat around the bush. “Why can’t people be more blunt and direct like me?”
11. Seeks to give opportunities, but you must use own free will
12. “Promoters” of one side of an issue during conflicts
13. Change makers: “It’s better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission!”
Now, go quickly read back down this list again with Charlie Brown in mind. How well do the adjectives fit his personality? And what about that flying ace beagle, Snoopy? Is he an I-type, too?
DO LUCY INSTIGATORS LOVE TO MESS WITH THE CHARLIE BROWN EMPATHIZERS OF THE WORLD?
Do Instigators (Lucy) love to mess with your mind (Charlie Brown) to get a rise out of you? Well, of course Instigators like to stir the pot, ahem, pull out the football. However, why was Empathizer Charlie so naïve and perpetually trusting, giving people a chance to change when they didn’t appear, by their actions, to want to? Sometimes you don’t see all the flaws in those you love, especially family members or people who are close to you. Well, without the Lucys of the world we might not learn anything about freeing ourselves from the narrow boxes called “comfort zone coffins” that we choose to live and die in.
BRING HOME THE BACON: More of living in the 1500’s….Sometimes a bit of port was obtained for a special occasion. When visitors would come over, the bacon was hung up so the visitors could see that the man of the house was a good provider, or bring home the bacon. The hostess would cut off just a bit of the pork to share with the guests, and then everyone would sit around and chew the fat. Those people of the 1500’s who had money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach into the food, causing death by lead poisoning. This happened most often when tomatoes were served, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered to be poisonous. Bread was divided according to status – workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family members got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST, DENNIS E. O’GRADY
Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is known as the Talk Doc since the advent of his positive and effective communication system, Talk2Me©. Dennis is a corporate consultant and team trainer, while maintaining a private practice which focuses on improving communication. His Talk2Me© training programs for Dayton Freight Lines (Regional LTL Transportation Services); Morris South (CNC Machine Tool Distribution); Parts Express (Electronics E-Retailer); and Motoman (World Leader in Robotic Solutions). Dennis is president of the Dayton Psychological Association and is a clinical professor at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology. His talk textbook, Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, received the 2008 Axiom Business Book Award Silver Medal. Not much time to read? Check out www.drogrady.com for hundreds of blogs dedicated to Dennis’s communication approach. You can contact the Talk Doc at 937.428.0724, or email him from the website.