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Roadmaps to the TALK2ME© System

Pessimism University

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DO YOU DRESS YOURSELF UP OR DOWN?

Every day at New Insights Communication I hear about how clients dress themselves down for being less than they think they are able to be. Although self-derision is energy-draining and virtually useless in promoting needed change, many of us seem to be addicted to using negative self-talk to give ourselves a tongue-lashing. These bad communicators are good at dissing and unmotivating themselves. “I should be a better communicator….” or “I stack the deck against myself by not feeling confident….” are examples of how they think negative thoughts which could precipitate their downfall, if they are allowed to continue. But, hey, no worries…you have a high level of intellectual power — but you’re misusing your talents.

A LETTER TO ONE COMMUNICATIONS CLIENT WITH A DEGREE FROM PU

I use e-mail correspondence to promote change in my communications clients. Jared, the recipient of the following email, spent two sessions telling me how motivated he was to drive himself into the ground. The result? He didn’t stay focused on his goals, and he didn’t attend his college classes. Neither did he talk positively to himself, filling his mind instead with the gloomiest possible views of every situation. As an Empathizer communicator, he made things much worse in his head than they actually were. Consequently, he had no inspiration to accomplish much of anything. With Jared’s permission, I decided to send him a little healthy sarcasm in an e-mail, making a point about the importance of talking positively to himself.

Dear Jared,

I know you’re striving to be a positive person and communicator. Remember our discussions related to pessimism vs. realism vs. optimism? I would really like for you to send me a copy of your doctoral diploma…the one that reads Doctor of Self-Defeatism. I believe you told me that you obtained your degree from Pessimism University…PU.

As I recall, you also told me that your doctoral dissertation was entitled DISMOTIVATION: How to dig a hole and throw yourself in it then hit yourself in the head with the very shovel that you used to dig the black pit AND make yourself feel bad for a very long time by digging your hole deeper and crying all the time. I believe you when you said that you obtained a VERY good grade on your dissertation….

If you would, please send me a copy of your dissertation and PU diploma at your earliest convenience. Oh, I’m just joking here! You know what I mean?

Respectfully yours,

Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D.
Professor of The Psychology of Self-Defeatism
Pessimism University…PU

HOW DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF TO REDUCE VS. PRODUCE ANXIETY?

The Talk to Me system is designed to improve your energy and motivation, and give you the stamina to achieve your goals, by talking sensibly to yourself instead of wallowing in the mud of self-imposed self-pity. You are the perfect talk road warrior! Get that junk in your trunk out of your head. Use the spiritual tools neatly tucked away in your glove box. Use your communicator map to get to where you need and want to go. Otherwise, you are going to be an energy drag to be around.

ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton region communications psychologist, relationship coach, corporate trainer, and keynote speaker. His areas of focus are change management, constructive team relationships, and effective communication. Dennis is the developer of the powerful new Talk to Me© effective listening and leadership communication training system. Copies of his book are available at www.drogrady.com and at Amazon. Get your roadmap to communication success today by calling and personally consulting with Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D.

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  1. ARE YOU STUCK ON THE SPEED BUMPS OF LIFE?

    Have you ever felt like you were stuck on a big speed bump of life, and worried that you were going to stay there, past forever? Many leaders feel that way when strong wills and big ideas clash around the communicator table at work. Too many titans trying to drive the communicator car at the same time can create frustration and a stagnation of creative problem-solving.

    MY MANAGER OR BOSS IS A GOOD COMMUNICATOR WHO LISTENS WITH INTEREST TO ME?

    Are you a narrow-minded but long-winded communicator who doesn’t listen with interest? Nope. You are becoming a better communicator as we speak. Good managers and leaders who communicate effectively have fired-up employees who check off this important company-wide feedback box: “My manager is a good communicator who listens to me with interest.”

    RESULTS-DRIVEN DECISIONS THAT WORK

    I design personalized, process- and content-centered results-driven management communication training programs for companies who take their communication seriously. Why is communication everything? Clear communication delivers results, while “foggy” communication produces negative or no results. Like, duh.

    LET’S TALK COMMUNICATION LEADERS

    Here’s what reliably takes place in your team when you use the “Talk to Me” communication system:

    1. “We Team” vs. “Me Team” synergy. The TTM system combines the energies of all parties to ignite the heart and soul of the entrepreneurial spirit, the same spirit that is driven to succeed by driving over the speed bumps of life.

    2. Happy employees. Don’t laugh. You want to inspire your employees to feel important and keep them happily and productively working for your company. The TTM communication system boosts employee morale.

    3. Communication laziness. Public and corporate enemy No. 1 is cynicism, going along to get along, pessimism about people and change, close-mindedly continuing to do what doesn’t work, half-honesty, telling leaders only what they want to hear, saluting a false sense of security, refusing to use measured results to adjust in-flight courses of action. In short, communication laziness.

    4. Clear communication gets you off the speed bump you’re stuck on. The “unique communicator mix” of your management or employee team is discovered and capitalized upon by using the New Insights Communication Inventory–Leadership Survey or NICI-LS. That way you can tell who you’re talking to by type AND include everyone’s best ideas, even those who may feel too shy to speak up.

    5. Pulling an elephant out of the hat. The two leadership communication styles of Empathizer- (E-type) and Instigator-type (I-type) communicators, use different driving lanes and rules to talk and live by. For example, I-types assertively speak out at meetings, while E-types more often only speak when spoken to. So companies are only benefiting from half-a-brain, which is akin to ignoring the elephant in the room, or trying to pull it out of a hat.

    6. The “communicator table” produces the best results you seek. When both E- and I-type communicators are seated around the invisible “communicator table” (or riding in the communicator car) and talking openly and equally, spontaneously produces positive synergestic (1+1=3) strategic decisions whose results will benefit everyone.

    7. Ability to implement “keep it simple” marketing “experiments” that get results. We all have experienced frustration when a “good plan” is “half-done then dropped.” The ability to measure results against idea plans, and talk honestly and openly about the results, makes us all walk our talk.

    8. The biggest complaint I run into when I consult with companies is this one: “Managers are perceived as NOT being very good communicators.” By being trained in, and using, the “Talk to Me” communication system your managers will be evaluated as “better communicators.”

    9. The second biggest complaint is that leader managers who are poor communicators don’t “listen with interest.” In other words, poor communicators just listen long enough to jump into the conversation to monologue about their preferred position of action. Not good!

    10. Why bother with open lines of communication that are results-focused? Well, your best employees will stick around, new “A” players will chomp at the bit to join your team, company morale will soar, personal energy will sizzle, difficult people will drop out, and better ideas and thus better solutions will be generated and more likely to be strategically implemented. Using the TTM system, creative solutions are brainstormed that take your breath away in simplicity and effectiveness.

    11. We all love change, now don’t we? The TTM system beckons all of the workforce family to let go of doing what isn’t working but is the favorite idea child, and grab hold of what quietly does work to get where you want to go. Namely, the land of huge payoffs that benefit everyone.

    REALIZING EXISTING POTENTIALS

    The biggest threat to your company is the strangulation hold of mediocre to poor communication. Getting too comfortable with your communication style, will make you nap like the Hare in the parable the Tortoise and the Hare and lose the race.

    USING THE TALK TO ME (TTM) COMMUNICATION SYSTEM

    I will design a personalized, results-driven program for the facilitation of management communication training within your corporate environment today. Call so we can sit down and “just talk” about the outcomes you wish to produce. The defined program will incorporate the “Talk to Me” communication system within the work dynamic at your company, thereby increasing the effectiveness of the communication exchange and workflow while promoting a positive team dynamic. In short, you will get great results using good communication strategies.

    ABOUT MANAGEMENT AND LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION CONSULTANT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.

    Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author of three works, and the developer and originator of the “Talk to Me” leadership communication training programs. Positive results are quickly produced and measured using this system which is personally led by Dr. Dennis O’Grady who is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, USA. He can be reached by phone at (937) 428-0724 or on the Internet at http://www.drogrady.com. “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” describes his powerful new communication system that will work for your company or family. Dennis is also a “relationship communication expert” and is the father of three daughters, two of whom are teenagers. Dr. O’Grady will help you drive down the two-way communicator highway today, instead of stay stuck on a speed bump of life that can bum out everyone’s creative energy, motivation and needed synergy. His book is available at Amazon.

    Comment by Dr. Dennis O'Grady — September 22, 2007 @ 9:09 am

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Dr. Dennis O'Grady
New Insights Communication
7085 Corporate Way
Dayton OH 45459-4223
 

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