What goes bump in the night? Here’s what: bad communications habits that are as easy as sleepwalking into a wall? Really, bad communication is SO easy to do and it’s SO-O easily repeated that, too much of the time, we all do it unmindfully, as if we really are sleepwalking. Elsewhere, I’ve put forth “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Communicators.” Now it’s time for a look at poor, warped communication, the equivalent of driving 70 mph in the dark, without headlights.
INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATORS EXPERTLY PASS ALONG NEGATIVE FEELINGS
Here’s how to be an ineffective communicator who passes bad feelings along, one who doesn’t solve problems but multiplies the psychodrama of it all. To be a bad communicator:
1. Be a worry wart. Pass along your worries to others.
2. Be a control freak. Try to perfectly control everyone and everything.
3. Be a know-it-all. Lecture others on the right way to live.
4. Be a close-minded listener. Listen only to who tells you what you feel comfortable hearing.
5. Be a lame blamer. Blame everyone (including yourself) for what you can change, but won’t.
6. Be a people fixer. Be the shining knight in armor who is resented and becomes a resenter, while your life energy is drained away by people who don’t want to change.
7. Be stuck being the same. Be the same person you’ve always been since 16 and be proud of the safety and security of a negative attitude.
IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT’S HAPPENING…DO, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
You are response-able and account-able for your life. You alone are in the driver’s seat of your life. Don’t leave the driving to someone else…especially a nay-sayer who objects to anyone feeling happy, contented and full of peace. If you don’t like your life, you can change what’s not working by consciously using the “what keeps me feeling up instead of down” positive habits of your communicator type. Pair those feelings with the purposeful adoption of the “can’t get me down for long” strengths of your opposing communicator type.
Believe YOU, it’s true!
ABOUT KEYNOTE SPEAKER, COPORATE TRAINER, CEO PERSONAL COACH, BUSINESS CONSULTANT, SEMINAR LEADER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady knows you will love what happens when you use the habits of highly effective communicators to have highly positive and productive relationships. His research has involved the two communicator types that talk to you from four talk lanes. First things first: Know who you’re talking to by type, and with a little practice, you will be talking more effectively to everyone you come into contact with. O’Grady’s book “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is available at his Web site and at Amazon. You no longer can afford the heavy price tag of being a poor communicator!