Good Grief: Why I Use Puffs and Kleenex In My Psychology Office
Good grief, Charlie Brown, is there such a thing…grief that is good for the heart and soul? Loss, saying goodbye and asking why? are very touchy emotional subjects for most of us. But there are good parts to grief, or as I like to say: “Out of the ashes of grief comes new growth!”
I’m serious. Just any low-cost tissue won’t do in my psychotherapy office. Tears are pretty precious…they are an indication of springtime rains that are loosening up old clods of dry grief dirt. Tears signal change, joy, longing, bittersweet memories, mood swings, feeling down, dispiritedness. Mr. or Mrs. Positive we ain’t when a lightning bolt of grief strikes down our status quo and sense of control.
Here’s why this communications psychologist prefers Puffs/Kleenex with lotion:
- Puffs/Kleenex (with lotion) sends the message to my grieving clients that they deserve the best.
- A little extra nurturing (and lotion) goes a long way to say, “It’s O.K. to cry when you are sad. People who have a heart feel everything. Sadness is the path of bravery and courage.”
- Puffs/Kleenex also put out the message that “You don’t always have to stuff your feelings and be strong…especially when it might hurt you.”
- Are you too shy to cry? Why? Crying is O.K., while whining and blubbering is not O.K.
- You can’t hide from grief for forever. Mourn your losses and move on as best you can.
- Change happens? Oh yes, out of the ashes of grief sprouts new growth. Haven’t you seen before/after pictures of Mt. St. Helens?
- Do you hurt when others hit a loss? Of course you do…if you give a flip. That doesn’t mean you have to be a control freak to protect others and the entire world, or keep everything protected in a glass bottle.
- Mood and sorrows come and go. You need to treat yourself to kindness and compassion to let the feelings you have ebb and flow.
Take the business of self-growth and personality change seriously. Honor a person you’ve lost by demonstrating their most positive attribute or positive attitude in this world NOW.
Adopt the strength of a lost loved one in your daily life. Nurture the new growth as you mourn your loss and move on down the road less traveled. Moods and sorrows come and go…mood is like the weather…do not fear for change will happen soon enough.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is a grief counselor and clinical psychologist who helps individuals, companies, couples and families grow and change in spite of the fear of the unknown.
