How To Give Feedback To A Sensitive Person?
CALM DOWN?
What gives the green light to constructive feedback when talking to your Empathizer-type (E-type) communicator cohort? If you’re an E-type, you prefer your feedback in a calm, non-confrontational tone. Empathizers are your workhorses. Treat them right and loyalty will be yours. Mistreat them? Remember that E-types have an elephant memory for mouse-sized hurts.
GO: CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK, EMPATHIZER-STYLE
How to give the green light of good feedback to your sensitive people or Empathizer communicators:
1. BE NON-CONFRONTATIONAL. You can make a point without being sarcastic, or without looking away or down your nose.
2. FOCUS ON HOW TO DO A TASK CORRECTLY. If you demonstrate how to correct a problem that’s causing trouble now, you’ll find that the process will work far better than pointing a finger of blame for past mistakes.
3. DON’T USE AN ERASER THE SIZE OF A TRUCK TO NULLIFY ALL THE GOOD THAT’S BEEN DONE. Communicate an invigorating mixture of positives and negatives at the same time, creating an effective, beneficial feedback experience.
4. USE A CALM TONE. Using a calm voice tone sends the message that your first intention is to solve problems instead of causing them to escalate.
5. BE A MENTOR AND A TEACHER. Give gold advice. Suggest simple solutions to fix thorny problems. Be a role model – exemplify what you expect others to do.
6. USE THE I WORD MORE THAN THE YOU WORD. “You’re not doing this and you’re not doing that….” fixates on your anger instead of on the actions which would resolve the problems.
CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK: GO, STOP, OR YIELD?
Constructive Feedback. Do you send a message to go – stop – or yield, when you’re interacting with others? Feedback in a minute or less is my loud horn blast for positive and effective communication. Hard to do, I know, but well worth the effort.
ABOUT TALK DOC, DENNIS E. O’GRADY
Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is known as the Talk Doc since the advent of his positive and effective communication system, Talk to Me©. His talk textbook, Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, received the 2008 Axiom Business Book Award Silver Medal. Dennis can be reached at (937) 428-0724.
