Dr. Dennis O'Grady

Communication isn’t magic or luck. It’s part of a skill package comprising lessons from the school of hard knocks and hard work. “Words that work wonders” describes a masterful communicator, while “Words that work to bring your mood for good works crashing down” could describe the manure sandwiches a crappy communicator feeds you. For better or worse, it all boils down to communication.

7 COMMUNICATION HABITS THAT BRING YOU UP…AND MAKE YOU A POSITIVE PERSON OR AN “UP” TO BE AROUND

When doing positive and effective communication workshops using the “Talk to Me” tools, I challenge myself to “keep it simple” and boil communication down into its basic foundations. Here are the seven habits of the highly evolved communicator:

HABIT #1: WORRY LESS. You understand that feelings communicate, so your job is to work with your feelings in healing not hurtful ways.

A Communication Mistake: You worry too much and your worry disrupts clear communication in your “keep your talk tight” relationships.

HABIT #2: PEACE FREAK. You understand that the harder you try to control the behinder you get, so you stop pushing yourself or others off a cliff.

A Communication Mistake: You turn into a control freak, one who freaks out when you aren’t in control of everything.

HABIT #3: KNOW-IT-LITTLE. You understand that traveling in unknown regions of change is a communication trip you won’t soon forget, a trip that begins confidently with the words “I don’t know but I’d like to find out and learn a thing or three!”

A Communication Mistake: You are a know-it-all who is blissfully blind to your own dangerous ignorance.

HABIT #4: OPEN-MINDED LISTENING. You understand that listening to the viewpoints of others enriches you and the relationship, so you listen with” three ears” to the message and the messenger.

A Communication Mistake: You “listen with half an ear” or with a closed mind to the speaker, ready only to launch your next “talk over” them argument.

HABIT #5: NO ONE IS TO BLAME. You understand that blaming yourself, or blaming anyone, chains your legs while expecting you to swim across an Olympic-size pool. Problem-solving “win-win” solutions occurs when the problem is at fault instead of the person.

A Communication Mistake: You claim that you don’t have any resentment luggage or junk in your trunk, although you do have a few big carry-on bags that interfere with interpersonal closeness.

HABIT #6: FIX PROBLEMS, NOT PEOPLE. You understand that if people don’t want to change, you can’t and shouldn’t be trying so hard to fix them.

A Communication Mistake: Victim talkers expect compensation for hurts that happen in life on a fairly routine basis. Victors instead say, “I may be broken-hearted but I am not broken.”

HABIT #7: GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME. You understand that to “keep communication simple,” you must first pay attention to your positive vs. negative attitude of what you feel, think, do and say.

A Communication Mistake: Failing to learn something new about good communication moves on a daily basis.

FOGGY COMMUNICATION

Many spoken sentences are like fog that makes driving on the two-way communicator highway very dicey. “Head spinning” is the feeling you get in your heart-mind of confusion. Head spinning makes you want to pull off the talk highway and stop heading toward your next change destination. Instead, slow down a little to account for the fog and turn on your fog lights to keep driving in the direction of your dreams.

ABOUT KEYNOTE SPEAKER, BUSINESS CONSULTANT, RELATIONSHIP COACH, SEMINAR LEADER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady knows you will love what happens when you use the habits of highly effective communicators to have highly positive and productive relationships. His research has involved the two communicator types that talk to you from four talk lanes. First things first: Know who you’re talking to by type, and with a little practice, you will be talking more effectively to everyone you come into contact with. O’Grady’s book “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is available at his Web site and at Amazon. You no longer can afford the heavy price tag of being a poor communicator!